Tuesday, January 17, 2017

No one likes a negative Nelly...not even Nelly.


We all know that person, don't we? We may even be that person.

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person. Not to say that I don't have moments of thinking negative, but it's typically self negativity and not towards the outside world. The positive thinker tends to look for the good, the possibilities and will tend to look for ways to overcome obstacles rather than be stopped by them.

Then you have what people call the "realist". I believe defined means "a person who accepts things as they are". But realist don't often look for the potential. It is what it is and that's it. I always joke with my "realist" friends that really, they're just pessimists in denial. ;) That's not to say that a realist is a negative person, they're just not always a positive one either. They're hanging in the balance.

Finally, you have your pessimists...they negative Nelly's. We all know that one person, right? Always complaining (especially on social media). Always sharing how life is terrible and never how it is good. If you ask them how they are, instead of "great, thank you!", you get why everything is terrible.
Often, they don't even see that this is what they are, but the people around them most certainly do.
They'll even complain about other Nelly's and how depressing they are, not even seeing it in themselves. Hence the title to today's blog. Not even negative Nelly's like negative Nelly's.



There are so many reasons one could choose to look at life with negativity in their hearts.
It could be how they were brought up, learning from generations before to feel like they're constantly defeated and carry it like a cloak around them.
It could be current life circumstances that have them feeling defeated, hopeless.
It could even be spiritual oppression.

Being around someone is is constantly griping, complaining, sulking, etc. is hard.
 The realist "gets it" but typically has no patience for it and the optimist wants to change it for them. They want to encourage them, support them, but often, the Nelly doesn't TRULY want it. There is comfort is being down. It's what they're used to.

Don't hear me wrong in today's post. I am in no way putting down the pessimist. I mean, I'm an optimist. I want to help the pessimist, remember? But what I'm trying to convey is that there is so much more to life than constantly sharing what's so bad about it. Negativity is much more contagious than positivity. Don't believe me? Go check your Facebook feed right now.


It makes me think of Eeyore. You know, the endearing donkey like fella on Winnie the Pooh. One of his quotes states, "I never get my hopes up, so I'm never let down."
Bless him. :) But here's what makes Eeyore different. He also says, "It never hurts to look to keep looking for sunshine." I think really, he's kind of a mix of all 3 personalities, but the resilient optimist side is what's so endearing. That even through struggle, he finds a little bit of joy to keep hanging on.



Here's the good news folks- there is a choice. You do get to choose which person you are. Who cares if you were brought up that way. Negativity is not a DNA trait. Choose joy! Look for what's ahead, what's possible, even when everything feels dark. Focus on what you can do to change your circumstances instead of letting them eat you alive. Pursue joy realizing that the enemy is the one who wants you to lie down in defeat. That's what brings him joy. Don't give it to him.

And that's where it all lies. In CHOOSING joy.
Now to be clear, joy and happiness are two totally different things. I don't have to be happy about a situation, but I can choose to have joy through it.  Joy is a fruit of the spirit of God. Happiness is fleeing, while joy is permanent. Happiness is just a feeling while joy is the promise that God's got this, even when you can't see how.


You'll find when you start to choose joy in hard situations, that those situations don't seem so dyer any longer. Big things become small. Small things...even smaller. Choosing joy means gaining control over your thoughts and casting down imaginations of "what could be" if that means the worse case scenario.
When those thoughts of defeat start creeping in, stop them, immediately, and instead, give God a praise for something that is good. When your fingers start aching to share all your troubles on Facebook, stop them, immediately, pick up your Bible and read Philippians 4:6-7, Romans 15:13, Psalm 69:18 or Nehemiah 8:10. That list could go on an on. God knows how pivotal joy is to our hearts, but do we?

Even the optimist has bad days. You can tell from my posts last week that not everything is always rosy even for someone who looks for the good, but it's my choice how I respond to those crummy times. That's what dictates how I choose to face life. Either as an overcomer or as one who is defeated.
I'm going to choose to choose joy. Will you?


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