"Sometimes, the thing you need, isn't the thing you want."
This quote, one I heard during a testimony recently, hit my heart in a way that I felt so deeply.
It's so true, right? We can be praying about something, asking God to show Himself for guidance and when the answer comes, you know it's the right thing to do, but isn't the thing you want to do. The thing we want to do is stay comfortable. Stay where there is familiarity and relationships. Stay because it's the easy thing to do, but comfort isn't where God moves in the great ways only He can.
It's when we are able to go beyond ourselves and see that He knows the need is greater than the want. I never want to be in place where my own stubbornness and fear of the unknown cheat me out of the awesomeness God has in store.
Over the last little while, Josh and I have been feeling in a stirring in our hearts that has been different than those we've had before. A stirring that's forced us to have hard conversations. In the past, when we've felt a similar stirring, we've always sought God and the answer was always, "Be still." and so that's what we've done. But this time, our prayers have returned with a different answer. No longer is it a call to be still. It's been so interesting, because as Josh and I have talked, both of us have responded with the same feelings, concerns, uncertainty, but the end result has been a mutual peace and settling. Our human self isn't sure it's something we want, but our hearts, with thanks to God's tremendous grace, see that it fills the need.
With all that said, we wanted to use this avenue as a way to share with you, our amazing church family, that Sunday, May 7th will be our last Sunday as members of Dora Assembly of God.
Even typing these words makes my heart ache and tears well fiercely in my eyes. They are words I never thought would actually fall from our lips.
We wanted to share this news with you here, because we wanted to make some things as crystal clear as we could and for me, the written word just seems to be the easiest outlet. This is a way for us to share with you, the people we love, why we've made this tough decision.
First, we are not upset with anyone. We are not leaving because our feelings have been hurt or we because we don't like someone or some thing. If you know us, you know this isn't how we operate. This is our greatest fear in following God's pulling. We don't want our leaving to cause any discourse. We don't want people to make assumptions or talk about why they think we REALLY left. It's why I'm writing you now. So there is not room for gossip.
We would follow our pastors to the end of the earth and we've told them that many times. Through conversations with them, they have so graciously and lovingly encouraged us to pursue God, even it that means it's not by their side at Dora. That is the mark of not only incredible leadership, but also genuine, selfless friendship.
Second, we are NOT leaving on any sort of bad terms and we did not take this decision lightly. In fact, it was so important that we think every aspect through and not make any moves based on emotion in any way. We talked as a family, sought God daily and even had a meeting with our pastors to seek their guidance and love. Even then, it didn't come easy, but as we have continued to ask God what He wants from us, our hearts feel that tugging, and we feel more and more secure and at peace in that He has a plan for our family beyond the walls of our church home.
And it is home and will always be. It is the church Josh has belonged to since he was in 5th grade. Only the second church I've ever belonged to. It's the church we dedicated our babies in. The only church they've ever known. It's the church we've spent 16 years in as a family, serving, building relationships in and growing through. We've been youth leaders, junior youth leaders, Sunday school teachers, sound booth techs, a deacon board member and church administrator. We've been invested deeply into this church. We've shared so many amazing memories and cried 1000 tears in it's walls as you all have journeyed through life with us. The good times, the hard times and all the in between. You've prayed for us and with us and held us up when life's greatest struggles were at our door (or pouring under it) ;)
But now, we hear God's voice and He's calling us to do these same things in the walls of another. Where? We don't know. We will be praying earnestly for Him to show us where we are to serve next; whose family we will become a part of; who will be walking with us through the next stages of this life as you have done with us in the first part. We ask that you will also be praying for us as our sisters and brothers in Christ. That God shows us where to go and shows us where He needs us. We truly feel that He is not calling us away from here "just because", that's not who He is. He has a plan and we want to be open to whatever that is, wherever that is. To not be caught up in what is comfortable or convenient, but what is TRULY His calling on our lives. We want to raise daughter's who are unafraid to chase Him and being obedient in this time is one of the best ways to teach them this very thing.
You are our family. We love you. Every one of you. We will miss you more than you can imagine. We will miss your encouraging words, your laughs, your hugs, your voices, your love for us and for our girls. It is so important for us to allow them especially the time to be able to say goodbye to their leaders and friends and for us to be able to as well.
We would never just disappear and not come back. You mean too much to us. We want to be able to say goodbye with grace and love.
When May 7th comes and we walk out of the doors for the last time as members (not ever because we will come back to visit when we get to missing you too much), we will be leaving with this prayer over you.
That you continue to chase after God and seek His will over Dora Assembly and it's roll in the community.
That you be okay with getting uncomfortable sometimes if it means God will have more room to move.
That you love on your pastors in tremendous ways because they do more than you'll ever know.
That you pray over how you can help fills the rolls we will be stepping out of.
That you eagerly look for ways to make things better AND be the one willing to make it happen.
That His blessings, favor and promises be fulfilled not only in your lives, but in that of the church itself.
God has something BIG planned for Dora, if your hearts are open and willing. We can't wait to watch it unfold, even if we won't be there to be a part of it.
We thank you for being the foundation for our family for so long. You have had a part in planting seeds in our lives, helping us grow and pruning us for this very moment. A new season is ahead and with that comes much uncertainty, but we rest well knowing that God is already there and with Him as our lead, we have nothing to fear.
Perhaps this is the moment for which we have been created.
With an intense love and appreciation,
Josh, Amanda, Katie and Abby Johnson
