There is enough to go around...

Last week a friend and I were talking about our roles as leaders and one of the greatest joys in that role being cheering others on. It is an amazing feeling to celebrate other and their accomplishments. Both in life and in their business.

In our conversation, we talked about how unfortunate it is that we have created this culture in our teams and how it should just be the way things are. It shouldn't have to be a purposeful choice to celebrate those around us, but instead, second nature.

She then said something that struck me. Paraphrasing, she said, "I think people, especially women, think that there is only so much affirmation to go around and if they give any up, they're taking value away from themselves."

Ya'll.

Chew on that.

Can you see this being true in the people around you? What about yourself? Are we quicker to hold onto our praise and affirmation like it's not a renewable resource or are we eager give it away like it flows from a never ending stream?


This same conversation arose in my chats with my daughter's last week as they talked about things that happened at school.
One was "jealous" of how artsy a friend of hers was. She used the word jealous and so I dove right in to strip the word away. I asked her if she was jealous or if she just really admired his ability because those are two different things. Jealousy wishes others didn't have what they have, but you had it instead. Admiration appreciates what others have. I encouraged her to not look at his ability with jealousy, but with conscious admiration. Instead of "I wish I could do that" why not say. "man, I'm so proud that my friend has that gift!" and then work hard to learn more about it if that's what you'd like to be better at.

With my oldest, the situation was different. A friend bought a new thing that my daughter thought was super cool. My daughter asked the girl if she be offended if she got the same thing. The reply was, "Yes, because you'd just be copying and you'd just try to be better than me at it" That really bothered K because it wasn't coming from a place of trying to copy or 1-up. It was from a place of inspired. We talked about how different that conversation would had been if the other person saw K's admiration of the item as a "I'm so glad I inspired you to want to do this too!" and took pride in that facet instead of instant jealousy or implied competition.

Imagine if we all looked at things this way.
Imagine if we became free givers of applause and encouragement.
What if we quit looking at people like "copy cats" and just felt encouraged that we inspired something in them?
Because here is the absolute truth.

There IS enough love to go around.

The incredible author and motivational speaker Bob Goff puts it like this...

And yes, encouragement, affirmation, cheering others on are all forms of love.

Imagine what your day, your workplace, your home, social media would look like if we stopped withholding it based on our own insecurities?

Can I tell you what will happen? Your cup will become filled to the brim! When you pour these things out into others and experience the joy it brings them, it will replenish the cup from which you poured it from.

A friend the other day, after a hard run, posted on Facebook saying, "I don't do this very often, but I'm really proud of myself because I set a new personal best..."

What struck me about her statement was that she was hesitant to share a success because she thought it was ill mannered to celebrate herself! Is this where we are? Are we so scared of other people judging out intention that we won't even pat ourselves on the back for a job well done? Forget that! I told her to shout it from the rooftops! She SHOULD be proud! That was a big deal! There IS enough celebration to go around!

So today, this is what I want to challenge you with. If you are not a natural "words of affirmation" user, start becoming intentional about celebrating others. Big things, small things, everything in between. You don't have to fake it. Just share your sincere applause as if it were your kid or best friend achieving something great.
Give credit where credit is due.
Become someones best cheerleader.
Appreciate their strengths.
Audibly believe in them.
Spend the next 5 days looking for ways to encourage or pat someone on the back. In your home, for strangers, in your office, in your team, pour it out.
Then, take stock for what it does to your heart. Did it fill your cup as I promised? Did you find yourself shifting from a place of jealousy and pride (miserable) to a place of joy? I bet you do.

You can't retire on love.

There IS enough to go around.

The Badge of Busyness...

The first time I heard this phrase, I was so offended. 😆 I mean, who wears being busy like a badge? Like an award of honor? No one does...right?
Wrong.
I do. You do. We all do.
"What do you mean?" You ask?
Think about your last week's worth of social media posts. How many of them noted your running like crazy between ball games or school or work or meetings? How many listed the lengthy schedule you accomplished that day? How many invites did you decline with the explanation of "I've got too much to do?"


Now, there isn't anything particularly wrong with this, per say. It doesn't REALLY harm anything, right? No, not really (except some can make it quite the annoying 1-upping game), but what if there is an area of your life where it IS actually hurting you?

If you're the owner of a small business, home based, MLM, direct sales, whatever you want to call it, flashing this badge can be quite detrimental to your goals.

While in one post or message you ask for friends or customers to book a party or host a fundraiser or even join your team so you can joyfully mentor them along the way, you're making another post talking about how exhausted you are and how you can't take anything else on without drowning.

See what's happening there? You just told those same people you're too busy for them.

Let me give you another example. Say I need to get my car detailed and I have a friend who does that for a living. I hop on their social media to send a quick message to set an appointment, but in the meantime, see that they're talking about how swamped they are, how they're running from her to there and how they feel like they have no time. Do you think I'll feel inclined to send them a message to set that appointment? No way. Because now I've moved from feeling like I was supporting them, to being one more 'to do' on their list & adding to their overwhelmed feeling. Nobody wants to be that person, right?

In my role in my Scentsy business, if I'm sharing the join opportunity and my desire to lead others to reaching their goals, but talk about how tired I am all the time, what am I really saying to those possibly thinking about joining? Possibly, that they would really be more of a burden than the blessing they really would be.

The truth is we are ALL busy. All of us. We are busy with different things, yes, but we all have schedules that sometimes seem impossible to juggle and sometimes actually are. Some of us manage time well and some not so much, yet, for some reason, we flash our busyness around like we are most definitely busier than anyone else could possibly be, instead of just agreeing that we all have our own crazy to manage. Hence, becoming a badge we were maybe all too proudly.

What if instead, we just learned to handle that busy. We were better about that time management or delegating and left our social media world to things that supported our end goal instead of self sabotaging it.
What if we agreed that we all had schedules that were nuts, mostly by our own choosing, because we have WAY more control over it than we want to take responsibility for, but left the details off the forum that we use to grow a business with.

I will never tell someone what to post and what not to post on their social media. Free speech and all, but I think it's so important for us to be prudent, especially when running a business, to carefully consider what we do share and truly decide whether or not that one post could be helping us build a better business or, inadvertently, making it fall apart.

Does your post encourage people to let you serve them & their need of your business?
Does another post contradict that desire?

Let's not make people feel guilty for letting us serve them. Instead, let it be something we urge on.

Today, let's agree to wear the badge of busyness no longer. There is no honor in being busy. Busy is normal. It is what it is. Instead, let's be purposeful in all we say and do knowing that the dreams we are chasing call for us to be intentional & not just busy.

Wishes alone won't work...

Wait, what? But you're a dreamer! Don't dreamers believe is making wishes?"
I am, but friend, those are not the same thing. At all.
You see, a dreamer is someone who sees possibility, who looks beyond what's right in front of them to what could be. A dreamer is one who doesn't feel limited by circumstances or past failures. A dreamer may hit a roadblock, but will then figure out a new way to ramp that sucker and fly over it. They are eager to learn how to accomplish their goals instead of being defeated by the hiccups. Well, that's my definition anyway. A dream chaser, which is the official title I've given myself, is even more aggressive in going after what they want. They know that their goals and their dreams, are their responsibility.

A wisher, well, a wisher is a little more passive. They may be hopeful, wishing things were different,  but don't do a whole lot about it. They say, " I wish I had a better job", but sit hopeless and empty in the same cubicle every day, never filling out applications elsewhere. A wisher doesn't tend to take much responsibility in their roll in their own dreams. They just simply wish things were different, but that's as far as it goes.

So how does one go from simply being a wisher to a dream, or better yet, dream chaser?

Well, first they have to know that whatever they are wishing for, has all the possibility of coming true. Not by luck or throwing a penny in a fountain or yes, even wishing on a star, but by a determination set in their heart to be the one to set the wheels in motion.


Want a better marriage? Learn about each other better. Actively love the other well. Their love language may not be yours, so figure it out and fill their cup in that way. Then, watch as your cup begins to fill.

Want to be a better parent? Love your kids. Hear their concerns & remember what it was like at that age where not getting to sit at one particular lunch table was soul crushing. Empathize. Spend one on one time with them. Don't give them their space. Fill it with reassurance that it will all be ok.

Want a better job? Get online, fill out the applications. Tweak your resume. Go back to school or even learn a new trade. Go after the opportunity, even if it's scary.

Want better fitting clothes? Put down the sugar. Get moving. Even if it's silly, like hula hooping, get your heart rate up & fuel your body with foods that will give you the energy to make it through the day. (or go buy they clothes you should really be fitting into instead of the size you want to be so you can be comfortable in the meantime)

Want better friendships? Be a better listener than you are a talker. Remind your friends of their value. Celebrate the great stuff in their lives, even the littlest of these things and comfort them during the hard stuff. Don't pull away. Press in.

Want a better Scentsy business? Show up. Learn something new every day. Make the calls. Send the emails. Make the samples. Set goals. Know where you are headed & make a path to get you there.

We could go on and on. Better car? Save the money. Bigger house? Work on your credit. Do you see where I'm going here?

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..." and "When you wish upon a star..." are both lyrics from two of my  most favorite songs, so don't get me wrong, I am not "anti-wisher."
Wishing isn't the enemy, complacency  is.
We should see a wish, that first glimmer of something our heart desires, as a seed to be planted.
Like any seed, it needs to be rooted in good soil, fed and watered, so it can grow. Not just thrown into a well. Wishes, when well taken care of, turn into dreams that become chaseable and dreams chased well, become your reality.

So today, I want to challenge you to look at what it is you're wishing for in life. What can you begin to do today to begin to tend to that seed and turn it into a chaseable dream? Write it down. Look at it every day. Make it happen.