No one likes a negative Nelly...not even Nelly.

We all know that person, don't we? We may even be that person.

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person. Not to say that I don't have moments of thinking negative, but it's typically self negativity and not towards the outside world. The positive thinker tends to look for the good, the possibilities and will tend to look for ways to overcome obstacles rather than be stopped by them.

Then you have what people call the "realist". I believe defined means "a person who accepts things as they are". But realist don't often look for the potential. It is what it is and that's it. I always joke with my "realist" friends that really, they're just pessimists in denial. ;) That's not to say that a realist is a negative person, they're just not always a positive one either. They're hanging in the balance.

Finally, you have your pessimists...they negative Nelly's. We all know that one person, right? Always complaining (especially on social media). Always sharing how life is terrible and never how it is good. If you ask them how they are, instead of "great, thank you!", you get why everything is terrible.
Often, they don't even see that this is what they are, but the people around them most certainly do.
They'll even complain about other Nelly's and how depressing they are, not even seeing it in themselves. Hence the title to today's blog. Not even negative Nelly's like negative Nelly's.

There are so many reasons one could choose to look at life with negativity in their hearts.
It could be how they were brought up, learning from generations before to feel like they're constantly defeated and carry it like a cloak around them.
It could be current life circumstances that have them feeling defeated, hopeless.
It could even be spiritual oppression.

Being around someone is is constantly griping, complaining, sulking, etc. is hard.
 The realist "gets it" but typically has no patience for it and the optimist wants to change it for them. They want to encourage them, support them, but often, the Nelly doesn't TRULY want it. There is comfort is being down. It's what they're used to.

Don't hear me wrong in today's post. I am in no way putting down the pessimist. I mean, I'm an optimist. I want to help the pessimist, remember? But what I'm trying to convey is that there is so much more to life than constantly sharing what's so bad about it. Negativity is much more contagious than positivity. Don't believe me? Go check your Facebook feed right now.

It makes me think of Eeyore. You know, the endearing donkey like fella on Winnie the Pooh. One of his quotes states, "I never get my hopes up, so I'm never let down."
Bless him. :) But here's what makes Eeyore different. He also says, "It never hurts to look to keep looking for sunshine." I think really, he's kind of a mix of all 3 personalities, but the resilient optimist side is what's so endearing. That even through struggle, he finds a little bit of joy to keep hanging on.

Here's the good news folks- there is a choice. You do get to choose which person you are. Who cares if you were brought up that way. Negativity is not a DNA trait. Choose joy! Look for what's ahead, what's possible, even when everything feels dark. Focus on what you can do to change your circumstances instead of letting them eat you alive. Pursue joy realizing that the enemy is the one who wants you to lie down in defeat. That's what brings him joy. Don't give it to him.

And that's where it all lies. In CHOOSING joy.
Now to be clear, joy and happiness are two totally different things. I don't have to be happy about a situation, but I can choose to have joy through it.  Joy is a fruit of the spirit of God. Happiness is fleeing, while joy is permanent. Happiness is just a feeling while joy is the promise that God's got this, even when you can't see how.

You'll find when you start to choose joy in hard situations, that those situations don't seem so dyer any longer. Big things become small. Small things...even smaller. Choosing joy means gaining control over your thoughts and casting down imaginations of "what could be" if that means the worse case scenario.
When those thoughts of defeat start creeping in, stop them, immediately, and instead, give God a praise for something that is good. When your fingers start aching to share all your troubles on Facebook, stop them, immediately, pick up your Bible and read Philippians 4:6-7, Romans 15:13, Psalm 69:18 or Nehemiah 8:10. That list could go on an on. God knows how pivotal joy is to our hearts, but do we?

Even the optimist has bad days. You can tell from my posts last week that not everything is always rosy even for someone who looks for the good, but it's my choice how I respond to those crummy times. That's what dictates how I choose to face life. Either as an overcomer or as one who is defeated.
I'm going to choose to choose joy. Will you?

Monday Motivation...

Just as Thursdays have been deemed Thursday Yummies day, I've decided that Monday's will be held for a little motivation. Nothing too heavy, but reminders to us all to take the week ahead of us and make it ours. Whether it's in your work, your parenting, your marriage, your home or a personal goal...own it! It's yours for the taking.

Today, in honor of Martin Luther King Jr day, I share with you this...

What are you moving towards?
Keep moving.

Be careful little eyes what you see...

Piggy backing off of yesterday's post and stemming from a conversation I had with my husband this morning, today's post may seem some what elementary.

However, some times, it's the most basic truths we need to be reminded of.

On yesterday's post, I talked about the mantra of sorts by which we parent. To protect our daughters minds, hearts, bodies and souls. That being our job as their parents.

This morning, after some things I struggled with last night, I was talking to my husband how I need to be more careful about what I let into my mind.

I've been honest in sharing with you all before that I struggle with a wild imagination (that I have trouble taming) and have the enemy of our soul, who loves reveling in my feeling defeated, constantly on the prowl. Also, that I'm a feeler. Seemingly harmless words or actions, I feel deep, to a fault and that alone can be excruciating.

I think even as adults, adults who are doign every we can to protect our little children, we forget that we need protected too. We become so used to hearing things, seeing things, doing things that are harmful to us that we don't realize they're being harmful to us. It doesn't even have to be something as heavy as addiction, but seemingly "simple" every day things that wear and tear at our spirits and cause us to feel heavy burdened and worn.

I decided this morning that I've got to become more proactive in protecting my myself, my mind, heart, my body and my spirit, because increasingly, I feel the weight of it pressing in. I let things that shouldn't affect me at all, take complete control and it's all because I choose to let them in.

As I thought about it, the words to the sweet little kid's church song started playing in my mind. 

"Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little eyes what you see. For the Father up above is looking down with love. Oh be careful little eyes what you see."

 That verse is followed by instruction for the ears, the mouth and the feet.  Being careful what you hear, what you say and where you go.

I really believe these verses are taught not only to encourage obedience to God and His will for us, but also to help protect us from the world and it's icky. 

We have the choice, on most days, to decide what we let into our mind and our hearts and where our feet take us. 

We see videos of abuse or terror on social media...and we watch them. Sometimes we even share them forcing others to have to see the same.

We read books and magazines about how we should be or look better... and we believe them. Telling ourselves we are less than.

We listen to gossip or bitterness and then let it fall from our own lips. 

We speak of death easily instead of speaking life into a lost world.

We let our hearts become so jaded, that we lose our sense of humanity and step right over the hurting. WE. 

We do that.

But we don't have to. 

If we'd only be more careful.

Careful to guard our hearts.

Careful to not let the thinks we watch, hear, speak and places we go become toxic chemicals in the core of who we are. We have the choice. We don't have to let the junk in. We can protect ourselves...and we should.

Let us choose each day to be mindful of what flows both in and out of us, realizing that what flows in, will determine what will be flowing out.

Be careful little eyes what you see...

What is something you let into your heart each day that you can take the control over?

They're not my kids...

4 words my kids HATE hearing me say. No, not about them. About their friends and classmates. "They're not my kids" I say. "You are."

Early on in my motherhood, I found myself praying one day about being a mom. Mom'ing is hard ya'll. No instruction book, just a mix of guidance or examples from others, winging it and a prayer. I don't want to mess it up (even though I feel like I am daily), and so I wanted to know what God wanted from me for them. I didn't feel or hear an answer right away and so I waited, hopeful, that I would at least get some kind of clue as how at least attempt to keep them out of therapy at adults.

One day, Kate was asking for something and I couldn't even tell you now what it was, but the phrase, "everyone in my class has...." Know that phrase? Heard it? Sometimes it's "all my friends get to..." or "so and so doesn't have to..."

The standby reply was ready to come and after the "they're not my kids, you are" spilled out, I found myself continuing the conversation with her when normally, that was that.

It was followed with this question: "Katie, what's my job as your mom?"

*insert blank stare*

"Kate, what's my job as your mom?"

*continual blank stare*

And then, like I'd rehearsed it 100 times before, these words followed...

"To protect your mind, heart, body and soul. To make sure what's going into your mind is safe and appropriate, that your heart is protected from hurt and continually affirmed, to make sure your body is safe, respected and healthy and to make sure you are spiritually fed and serving God."

That was it. That's what God wanted from my motherhood and He spoke it through me, to her, in a moment we were both listening.

My job is not to be my kid's friends. Yes, when they are grown, I hope the relationship we've built through their childhood will yield a close bond and friendship, but right now, I'm not here to yield to their every whim. They can't make the right choice in every situation and my job is to be here to help them do just that. To train them up to be good, loving, healthy, followers of Christ.

So, not focusing on whether or not they like me, means some times those choices are hard ones. Choices they '"hate" me for or choices that seem unfair.

Some of these choices make our kids the "left out" kids because we are doing our best to protect them from an ugly cruel world.

It's why we've chosen for them not to have their own phones at young ages. In an effort for transparency, Kate will be getting one soon, but it will be extremely limited on what she's able to access and will full disclosure that we are the ones in control of it. Yes, that means we'll read every text she sends or receives and she's totally okay with that.

It's also why we are extremely picky about who's house they'll go hang out at and the list of who's house they can sleep over at is even smaller. 

They've never been allowed to have elementary school boyfriends and we don't encourage crushes.

It's why they don't have TV's in their rooms or free reign on the internet. It's why they aren't allowed to watch certain tv shows, movies or read certain books. Because our jobs are to protect their minds, bodies, hearts and souls and everything going into them.

What or who we allow access those parts of them will shape who they are. Shouldn't we all want to be so cautious of what's filtering through to these parts of them?

I need it to be crystal clear that I am in NO WAY judging any other parenting methods or would ever say that if you don't parent like us, you're doing it wrong. I am not that kind of momma. 

I'm also not in any way judging my kiddos friends or their parents. I love the ones they have dearly. They've done a pretty great job of picking their own little circles.  This is just us. This is what I prayed for God to show me. It's just how we are doing it.

In a world where children are being sexualized younger and younger, being told to look or act a certain way by peers, a pervasive social media presence, violence becoming less and less shocking and self worth so deeply tied into what other's think about us, I feel I would be failing as a parent if I was not trying to make sure I was doing everything I could for them to be and feel safe.

We want our girls to know that their value isn't tied to which boy does or doesn't like them.

We want our girls to know that not fitting in, is totally okay, if fitting in means going against their character and morals.

We want our kids to experience the things around them, not just see them on a screen.

We want their sleep to be peaceful and not full of nightmares of things their eyes have seen.

We want our kids to get to be kids.

If wanting all of these things for them deems us "helicopter parents" or them "sheltered", then so be it.

It's our job.

To protect their hearts, minds, bodies and souls.

And we take it pretty seriously.

It's something maybe even as adults we should be better at for our own self. To be more aware of protecting our minds, our hearts, our bodies and our souls.

So now, when I hear those frustrating words "But... (insert phrase of injustice here)" I reply with, "What are our jobs?" and they reply, "To protect our minds, bodies, hearts and souls" and then we discuss what part of that action conflicts with that calling. They get it.  Do they always like the answers? Oh Lord no. Does that always end the conversation or keep us from arguing? Ha! No. 

But they're understanding better, deeper why we make the decisions we do and I think that is garnering a least a little more respect for our choices. More so than this, they're quickly finding we won't make choices on what they can or can't do based on what another kid can or can't do.

They're not my kids, Katie and Abby. You are. And I love you.

Her gypsy soul...

Last week, I shared with you more about our oldest, Katie, and her love of archery and the fight she's fought with reaching her goals. If you haven't checked that out, I want to really encourage you to. It is such a story of determination and something, even as adults, we forget about sometimes. 

Today, I want to tell you about our littlest, Abby.

It's funny how when you're expecting your second child you tell yourself this insane lie that the second will be like the first. I'm sure it's because there is a lack of experience, but none the less, we assume they'll behave the same way, think the same way, even look somewhat the same.

But oh how wrong we are and we certainly were when Abby arrived.

Katie was very timid as a little one. Cautious, quieter, more inquisitive than investigatory. She questioned everything (and still does, just in that obnoxious preteen way) ;)

Abby, however, is her complete opposite. She was the one climbing on the couches, getting into stuff she shouldn't and has the energy we all wish we could bottle. It would be easy to label her as hyper or a wild child, but it's not unpurposed energy. She knows exactly what she's trying to do. 

Raising Abby is such a different experience than raising our oldest. Admittedly, an overwhelming one when we'd been used to quiet, reserved Katie.

I mean how could two girls raised in the same house with the same parents be SO different?

I remember a day last year as we were driving to church where Abby made me really appreciate who God created to be. I was trying to talk to her about something and I could tell she wasn't paying any attention. Super frustrated, I said, "Abby, why aren't you paying attention to me?"

She replied, "Because I'm busy looking at the world."

*gut check*

In that moment, I got it. I understood, better, my girl. It wasn't that she was purposely ignoring me. She was busy looking at the world, taking it in, seeing what it has to hold for her. 

And that's what she does. Constantly. She is more of what we need in this world. Her day revolves around making people happy and is rarely seen without a smile. She also has her very own sense of style and it is very...unique. :) But in her words, "She makes it look good." 

It also isn't rare to see her busting a move wherever there is music. School, stores, often an impromptu ballet in the living room and she couldn't careless who's watching. A prime example of her personality is found in last year's basketball pictures for school. The first picture she had to pose as they directed. The second, they said she could do whatever she wanted. So she did this...

  The her, the more people watching her do her thing, the better...because she's making them laugh. We joke and say that the rest of us are just in Abby's movie acting as supporting cast. She just truly loves life. She also loves others well.

Abby doesn't like seeing people struggle or upset. She doesn't hold grudges or stay mad long. She cares deeply for her friends and loves Jesus a whole lot. Outside of the normal frustrating kid stuff, she is such a light in an often dark world.

As a mom who admittedly really values being still and quiet, I have to be careful not to dim that light when I need her just to be calm. That's not who God created her to be.

Does He expect her obedience? Absolutely! Does He want me to change who she is? No.

I tell her all the time when I'm working on correcting bad behavior that I don't want her to change who she is, just how she's acting in that moment.

You see, Abby, just like Katie, just like me and just like you, is created the way we are for a purpose. I've talked before how we all have a place or purpose in this world. There are things Abby will be able to do  that Katie won't because of their individual personalities and vice versa. If I make Abby feel less valuable because she just won't sit and be silent, then I could possibly be cheating the world of what God has planned for that exploring soul of hers. Her little gypsy soul.

We call her our "wide open spaces" girl (referring to the Dixie Chicks song of years ago). 

So while I get frustrated, tired and some times a little crazy from the whirlwind that is our Abby Grace, I wouldn't want her to be any other way. I pray that God reminds me in those times that He loves her and is creating in her someone who has a big purpose in His plan. That I find balance in training her up without dulling her spirit. That I remember that some times, it's okay to be more like her.

She is confident. She is loving, She brings joy. She is bold. She seeks adventure. She loves Jesus. 

She's busy looking at the world.

Look at the world baby girl. It needs more of you in it. 

Thursday Yummies...

I. Love. Food.
I really do. Too much maybe, but I just love great food.
Through our travels with our Scentsy business and family trips, we've been able to travel to some awesome cities in the US and really get a taste for what they have to offer. Every time we travel, I do research on places on the way and in our destination city that offer the best eats. If I'm going to waste calories, I want it to be worth it.

I also want to raise great eaters and so far, sans preteen hormones ("I hate this today, but will probably love it tomorrow"), they do a pretty good job of not being chicken nugget and french fry kids.
From the day they started being able to eat table foods, we introduced things that were different than typical kid food. We also implemented a rule in our house called the "No Thank You Bite".
If I cook something they're not so sure about, they have to at least take one bite. At that point, they can say no thank you and then their choices are a PB&J or whatever is  in the cabinet they can easily fix.
This rule has been great for our table because plates they'd immediately whine about and turn their noses from, get that one bite and, 9 times out of 10, finish with clean plates. They just need to try it.
You might not like everything, but you could be missing out on something awesome just because it looks funny.

That being said, there are some things I am picky about. Chili is one of those things.
I grew up hating chili. Greasy, sloppy, full of mystery ingredients I couldn't identity...no thanks!
It wasn't until I'd been married a few years that I decided to give it another try. I asked friends for their favorite recipes and saw one that didn't look scary. I made it the next day and that was it. This chili...this chili I could eat every darn day.

Over the years, it is the go to recipe I make when a cold day is upon us, for family Christmas, or for those occasional chili cook offs. It is so simple, but is so full of flavor and so far, is a pretty great crowd pleaser, even for the pickiest of eaters. It's a recipe my kids get super excited about and can even make themselves now, which makes my heart super happy. If you're a beginner cook, this recipe is for you!

So today, with another cold snap upon us here in Oklahoma, I thought I'd share the recipe with you. My oldest would protest as she feels like it should be a secret family recipe, but since someone else shared it with my first, I feel it's only right to pass it on.
Should you decide to give it a whirl, I pray it warms your belly and puts a miserably full, satisfied smile on your face.

Ingredients

1.5 lb of ground beef or ground venison

1- Large can of tomato soup

1- Can of red kidney beans

1- Can of chili beans

1- Can of Ranch beans

1 packet of taco seasoning

Optional: diced fresh jalepenos or red pepper flakes if you like your chili to have some heat 

Brown meat in a pan and drain well. Really well. We don't want greasy floaters in our chili.:)

In your crockpot, combine your tomato soup, beans and taco seasoning.

Fill your empty tomato soup can half way with water and pour into crockpot.
Stir well.

Once meat is browned and drained, add to your crockpot

If you like your chili spicy, add your jalepenos or red chili flakes to taste.

Cook on low for 8 hours or high for 4.

You can also do this same recipe on the stovetop in a deep pot and simmer on low-med heat for 15 minutes. Since everything is already cooked, it's ready when you are.

If you like your chili to be thicker and not soupy (we prefer thicker), take a cup of water and add a couple tablespoons of cornstartch. Mix until all the clumps are gone and 

then add to your crockpot and stir. This will thicken your chili.

With that, dinner is ready! 

We love to top ours with sour cream and shredded sharp cheddar on top. 

I recommend making a double batch and putting one in the freezer for those surprise snow days or whenever the craving hits.  The bonus of this recipe that if there is any left after dinner, it's even better the next day.

Do you have a food that you hated as a kid, but love now as an adult when you were able to make it your way? Let us hear about it in the comment section! Happy Eating!- Amanda

These are a few of my favorite things...

The last few days of blogging have been heavy, haven't they?
I've worn my heart on my sleeve for the few who take the time to read my silly words and I'm sure one of two things has happened. You either feel really bad for my husband and kids who have to put up with my crazy OR you've already quit reading my blog. Either way, I get it.
But on the off chance neither is true and you've found yourself connected with me and the struggles or just general mom life I take on each day, then kudos. I appreciate you not giving up on me. :)
Today I thought I'd keep it light and share, with you, some of my favorite things.
The things that make me happy,  I indulge in, that are nuggets of joy in my messy world.
 I've even included links to so you can enjoy them too, should your curiosity get the best of you.
This list is random...just like me.

With that being said, let's check the things I'm currently loving...

(and these are no order of importance...cause they're all awesome)

My favorite sounds: The Piano Guys
   These guys are amazing! Mashing classical pieces with modern music to create magic. If you don't dig classical or instrumental music, don't immediately write these guys off. What they do is so unique that I think you'll be surprised how your opinion about said genres changes. The cover current hits and reimagine classic movie theme songs. They just released their new album 'Uncharted' (on my birthday wishlist) and are currently on tour. If they're coming to a city near you, go see them! You don't regret it. (bonus: they're hilarious)

My favorite hiding spot: Panera
  It also happens to be my favorite place to meet with customers and my team members. In our store, I even have a spot picked out that I've deemed my own. It's quiet, the atmosphere is so relaxing and the food is stellar. My favorite bites include their bagels and the oh so delicious Spinach Artichoke Souffle. Mmmmm... Paired with a cup of Hazelnut coffee, I am left one happy customer. I even used their catering service to send bagels to our Home Office in Idaho without a hitch. Definite 2 thumbs up. If I need to just have some time to hide from the world, it's my favorite place to go.

My favorite new cleaning product: Scentsy Counter Clean
 So yes, it's a Scentsy product, but it gets my favorite cleaning product pick for good reason. It's amazing! Don't let the counter clean name fool you. We use it on EVERYTHING. Counters, bathrooms, floors, you name it. I've even seen people use it on carpets as a stain remover. So in this case, being able to buy a cleaner in your favorite fragrance is pure bonus, because the real winner here, is the cleaning power it has. I haven't found anything it can't handle. My fragrance pick: Coconut Cotten. Consider this your shameless plug to go check out my website.

My favorite snack: Popcorn
  I can't even really give you a link here because I love all popcorn. Haven't met one I've hated yet. (Unless it's stale or burnt...that's different). Popcorn is my favorite before bed snack and is the absolute MUST of the movie theater. I even make a pretty mean dark chocolate bacon caramel corn.
I like it buttery, salty, sweet, savory. Whichever way you want to share it. :)

My favorite show: The Chew
  And one of my friends actually sat in their audience today. I had to pray hard over my attitude of pure jealousy. I've been watching The Chew since it debuted and it only gets better. Besides the comedic banter, approachable recipes and great guest spots, I love how lighthearted the show is. Very little is taken seriously is it's a great escape from the heaviness you find in the news or typical talk shows. A reprieve if you will. It's the only show I DVR and watch solidly, without missing an episode. You can find The Chew on your local ABC affiliate.

My favorite household chore: The ILIFE Beetle robot vacuum
   I asked for this puppy for Christmas and happily received and yes, I'm still counting vacuuming as a chore even with him in our house. Also, I indeed  asked for a vacuum for Christmas. It's just where I am in life folks. We've adoringly named it Bailey (Beetle Bailey) and treat it like it's a pet. The best part? Instead of making messes, it cleans them up. This fella is much cheaper than a Roomba and had fantastic reviews. It glides easily across our hardwood floors, over rugs, under beds and couches and finds all sorts of stuff I miss when using a broom (Especially hair and dust). He's pretty awesome and yes, vacuuming is now my favorite chore. ;)

With that, it's time to go pick up the little ones from school. I'd love to hear what some of your favorite things are and why along with links to find them!
Share them in the comments below.

Most of all, remember to find time to enjoy the things you love. Whether it's something big or something small. Find those nuggets and let them make you happy.