Keeping a Summer schedule...to save my sanity.

Summer is here! YAY! That means staying up late and sleeping in, lazy days, swimming pools, cooking dinner on the grill, popsicles and sun tans.
But there is a side of Summer that isn't all beachy, am I right?

I feel like, especially for a stay at home/ work at home parent, all of their awesome parenting skills (or lack thereof) are truly tested once Summer break comes. I mean, we've skated by all year with our amazing teachers being in charge for a good 1/3 of the day, but come Summer, all bets are off. This is when our ability to handle our little minions becomes truly tested.

For our house, this is where our Summer schedule has become a sanity saver. We went Summer upon Summer with no plan, no general outline and chaos is what ensued. A constant, ever single day discussion of "what are we going to do today?" "I'm bored!" "I don't want to clean up!" "When will you be done working so we can do something?"
Every. Single. Day.
It wasn't until last Summer that I was inspired by another momma to start a Summer schedule.
Now, before we go further, let me make it clear that this is not a die hard, by the book schedule. It's an outline with a lot of flexibility depending on what's going on that day/week, but it's something. I mean, the kids follow a schedule at school every single day (when they have class, recess, lunch etc.) and then come home during the Summer to no schedule at all. For our girls, we found quickly that having something for them to follow, even if it's pretty flexible, made the whole house happier.
It took us a couple of weeks last year to get a groove going once we had a plan in place, but once it hit a stride, it was awesome!
So it was only natural that as soon as we came home from vacation, that we get this year's plan drawn up and ready to roll.

To start, the girls and I sit down and think about the things we'd like to do this Summer. Daddy isn't involved only because he's at work all day, but it doesn't mean he's left out of the fun.
Next, we divide out chores that will need to be taken care of each day. During the school year, I take on 99.5% of the daily household cleaning because I am here and we want school to be their focus. The only exception is their rooms, in which case, they have to keep those tidy. (they don't like it when I clean them...muahahahahaha)

But during the Summer, we are all 3 here eating meals, making messes, playing etc. so it is completely reasonable for them to take on some of the things I would normally take care of myself. Sharing these responsibilities is a triple win because...
1. I don't have it all on my shoulders on top of the work I need to do for my Scentsy business
2. They don't make near the messes knowing they'll have to clean them up, especially if it's in their area
3. It teaches them pride in hard work and the space which in they live. I don't want to raise slobs.

The chores are divided out equally and we discuss who would be willing to do what. If one does the kitchen, the other does the hall bathroom. If one does the living room, the other does the den. They are both responsible for their own rooms and their laundry. Now, these jobs aren't "down on the floor scrubbing grout with a toothbrush" jobs. They are picking up, wiping down counters, putting away dishes, tidy jobs. I still do the deep cleaning. Their list can be done in an hour is they really get after it, but most days, it takes the morning because they'll start, stop and start again.
But with these things taken care of, the house stays clean enough for anyone to pop by at any time and for those deep clean days to go a lot smoother.

Here is ours for this year. Our dry erase board has seen some hard days and is in need of replacing, so I'll list what this year looks like here for you. Feel free to use it as an outline for your own!

Katie's chores- Bedroom, Den, unload dishwasher, wipe down kitchen counters, personal laundry on Monday/Friday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Tuesday.

Abby's chores- Bedroom, living room, picking up bathroom and wiping down sink, personal laundry on Tuesday/Thursday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Wednesday.

On days they're in charge of dinner, they get to pick the menu, help shop for ingredients and then do as much as is safe to prepare the meal. They LOVE this one! It's not only teaching them some basic cooking skills they need to have anyway, but they also tend to be more adventurous with their choices and very proud when they see what's they've accomplished.

My perfectionist spirit totally wants to use my Cricut to make this beautiful, symmetrical, and perfect, but as the lovely Shaun Niequist quoted in her book 'Present Over Perfect', just because you can, doesn't mean you should. My time is better spent elsewhere (but I think about it every time I walk by that ugly thing) 

Once the chore list is complete and all are agreed, we move on to what the reward will be for taking care of their business. I love a good theme, so we try to come up with alliterative names for each day. (Make it Monday, Thankful Thursday etc). As mentioned before, these things are very flexible and aren't set in stone, but give us a good direction to at least head in that day. Both the chore chart and rewards chart is then written on our dry erase board and propped in the kitchen nook throughout the Summer.

Here is our reward list for this year and then I'll explain how it all works together...

Make it Monday- experiments, crafts etc. Could be a fun recipe, slime, sewing, painting etc. Focus is creativity.

Theater/Tune In Tuesday- movie (our local theater has $2 showings on Tuesdays through the Summer), movie at home, see a play, make up a play. Focus is the performing arts in some way.

Where Will We Go Wednesday-  adventure/discovery day. Could be a trip to the Nature center, the park, out of town for a day trip, museum etc. The focus is purposeful learning or exploring.

Thankful Thursday- looking for ways to bless others or pay it forward in small or big ways. So many options here between baking something to take to another who needs a reminder they are loved or doing small, good things for strangers.

Free Friday- We just changed this one today. It was 'Floatin' Friday' and water themed, but let's be real, we are likely to not just stick to swimming/water fun on Fridays, so we changed this to be an open day. If there is something we want to do that week that didn't get done yet, we'll do it on Fridays or we may just come up with something spur of the moment. The key is that it's totally open.

With all that being said, how does the schedule ACTUALLY work. Well, here's how it works for us.
I am a work from home mom. I run a very successful Scentsy business and am a leader for a large team who I work with each day to help build their own great business. I also have great customers to take care of, orders to put together etc.  That means that I've got to have time to work. During the school year, I do this while they're at school. When they're home, it gets tricky, which is why this plan is perfection in our house.
Our plan is this. We get up in the mornings, have breakfast and do our quiet times/devotionals. Then, I come into my office to work until lunch time. They know that they aren't to disturb me unless necessary because the more work I get done, the more opportunities we have as a family. If you have smaller children, this may be more tricky, but ours are 12 and 8, so it works.
During this time, it's their job to complete their daily tasks. I might remind them once to get them done, but I won't any more than that. We're teaching personal responsibility here people.
At lunch time, I stop working and if they're finished their lists, then we get to spend the afternoon doing whatever is on that days schedule. This set up allows me purposeful time in my business and keeps a great consistency in our week. Every one knows what to expect, so there is no guess work, no asking 500 times what we will do today and no complaining about chores because they know if they just suck it up and get it done, we can have fun.
When do I get my laundry and other cleaning done, you may ask? In between working in the mornings or after we get back from our adventures. My goal, however, is to be disconnected from my business responsibilities and that type of cleaning by the time my husband is home from work so that we can spend the evenings all together. It isn't 100% fail proof, but it's something. This isn't me trying to keep them from being little and enjoying an amazing Summer. It's teaching them how to take care of their business, so we CAN have an amazing Summer.

If your kids thrive on a schedule (even if they won't admit it) , I want to encourage you to give this a try for a couple of weeks and see what happens. I realize this method won't fit every family perfectly, but if you think it could give you even an ounce of sanity, use what you can and adapt what fits your family's dynamic. My greatest peace of advice is let them help you with every part of it because that's where they feel like this is a plan for you all and not just mom or dad telling them what to do.

With that, from our family to yours, we hope you have an incredible Summer filled with adventure, loads of new memories and tons of laughter.

- Amanda

8 years later

I realized as I sat down this morning to do some work, that a month from today, I will celebrate 8 years as a small business owner.
8 years is a long time for anything, but as a business owner, it's something to really be proud of, no matter what field you're in.
For me, it's Direct Sales. I am a consultant with Scentsy.
Now, now, don't scoff. :) There are a million and one direct sales companies out there and your experience or even true knowledge of them may be limited to just a few. You may know some rockstar consultants and you might know some who are terrible. Same goes for the products. Some are awesome and some, well, maybe not so much.
But I want to tell you about mine and why for myself and my family, it has been one of the best choices we could have ever made for our future.

When I joined  in February of 2009, I was struggling. More than just financially, I felt lonely. Even though my job as a stay at home mom was so valuable to our family, I felt like I was spinning in a monotonous routine that was suffocating. My days were filled with diaper changes, bottles, toddler fits and not much else. I had no close friendships and no interaction with anyone who could form complete sentences outside of church 3 times a week and my husband. It was hard.

When a friend at church hosted a basket party with a Scentsy consultant, I bought a bar of Pumpkin Roll wax, not even really understanding what I was supposed to do with it. I mean, there was no wick in it, but I wanted to support her party, even if $5 was all we could afford to spend.
Once my order arrived and I melted a cube in my trashy tea light melter (shh...don't tell!), I decided I wanted to host too so I could get a pretty warmer and get the full experience.
While hosting, the consultant asked if I'd ever thought about selling Scentsy. Um...no. They always ask, don't they? Internally I'm thinking, "You don't know who you're asking lady. I have no friends, go no where, am as shy and introvert as they come and I've failed miserable at 2 other direct sales companies. No. No. No. No."
But then I started to think more about it. I think truly is was the Spirit of the Lord whispering into my heart because we couldn't even afford the starter kit. Why on earth would I think about spending $99 when we were continuously over drafting our account? But the idea was sticking. This was a chance for me to feel like I was contributing to our family more than just as a babysitter and maid.  A chance to be more than just mommy and wife. A chance to be around grown ups!
After prayer and conversation with my husband about the 'what ifs', we swung for the fence and I joined Scentsy, putting that $99 on a credit card with the only expectation that I would at least work to pay it back and then the rest would be whatever it would be.
My how everything would change.

I'm not going to go over the last 8 years in detail with you. It would take so long to go over every moment that has been pivotal in who I've become today and how it's shaped our family and it's future. What I can tell you is there have been MANY, but I would like to highlight a few.

First, financially. We went from having nothing (and I mean nothing) in the way of any extra money to a place of financial comfort. Through this, we have not only been able to buy a new house, 2 new vehicles, pay off student loans and other debts and even start a 401K, but have also been able to contribute to our church, our community and those around us who need help. That's not to say anything great about ourselves, but something SO great about the God we serve. We have come from the people who needed help, to the people who can give help and my how that fills my cup. (and now by law, I have to share our silly little income disclosure statement, so here that is...  Scentsy Income Disclosure Statement )

Second, me. I have changed. While I am still at introvert at heart, I have grown from a person who felt worthless to someone who get's to show others their worth. From a follower desperate for interaction, to a leader who helps her team chase dreams. From lonely to a woman surrounded by people who lift her up, support her and cheer her on in business and in life. From shy to standing on a stage in front of 10,000 people to share my story. I've found my place. I've found who I am.

Third, my family. Our future looks so different now. My daughter's were being raised by a broken mommy and while I'm not totally mended, who they see now is much different than before. What I am showing them through this business is that anything is possible if you work hard enough for it. That living an arrows out life means looking to better the lives of the people around you and that it comes in many forms. That financially security doesn't have to mean working a 9-5 job. That there are other ways. My husband has a wife who is better because of what she does. Together, we run a family business. One that takes us to new places, allows us to meet new people and given us the ability to pay our blessings forwards. All things that would have been near impossible before.

All because I bought that $5 bar of Pumpkin Roll wax 8 years ago.
All because I didn't let past failures or the stigma of direct sales make my choices .
All because God whispered sweet hope into my heart when I clicked the join button and I was listening.
8 years later I am so thankful for that friend who hosted that basket party.
For the life we are creating for ourselves and for our family.
For the spirit of simplicity, authenticity and generosity this company teaches us in everything it does.
Has it always been easy? No. Has it been worth it? Every. Single. Second.

8 years later.
I can't even imagine what the next 8 years will hold.
Stay tuned.

*If you'd like to learn more about joining Scentsy or have questions, feel free to contact me. You can hear more about my story or what it takes to become a part of this amazing company by clicking here

The Imposter...

I hear it a lot. Too much in fact. The phrase, "You're like Wonder Woman!"

I don't like it because it's really not true. If it was, I'd be an imposter.

I get where it's coming from and I totally understand why people say it to me. If I were on the outside looking in, I'd probably say it too. I mean, here I am, a mom, wife, leader, business owner, PTA president, Sunday school teacher, church team leader who seemingly has it all together.

But truth bomb...I'm a hot mess. 

What my sweet friends and others don't see is that my constant need to do so much stems from a desire to feel valued, not from a place of trying to impress.

I also never want to be a burden on anyone. It's why I won't push myself into friendships or why I have a horrible time delegating when I do take things on. While yes, it is partly my control issues, the fear of being a burden is the controlling factor.

I over commit, try to be the best at a lot of different things and work tirelessly, some times to a point of making myself sick, trying to make sure everyone around me is happy, just so I feel worthy. 

Not because I'm a people pleaser (because truthfully, I really don't care anymore if everyone likes me), but because I need the approval. I do what I do because I want you to think I'm valuable enough to have in your life. Sad, isn't it?

Do you want to know what the worst part is though? The "light bulb" moment of reality that I had not too long ago?

My desire to feel valued and worthy of those around me and what I do to attain that, only leaves me feeling less and less valuable. Dirty rotten trick, isn't it?

I remember a birthday party I went to when I was 11. I was the unpopular kid of the group and am certain I was invited because everyone else was and it would be rude to leave me out.  I was left out anyway. The whole time. So what did I do? I helped the parents clean up while the other kids played. They seemed so appreciative. They made me feel valued when my peers did not. That is my first memory of trying to impress others so I felt like I belonged. I've done it ever since. 

I think the worst part of it all is that it's my husband and kids who get the raw end of this deal. The broken me. The tired me. The bitter me. They don't get the best of me. Everyone else does. They get the leftovers.

Now, let's pause this post a moment. I am not writing this for pity. That is not how I roll, ever. I am writing it for transparency. For you to understand that while I may look like I have it all together on the outside, that I am a flipping hot mess on the inside. It's because of my insecurities that I feel like I have to be this way. Not because I am just that cool. I'm not. At all. I am flawed.

The honest to goodness truth about this flaw is that I hit walls and HARD! 

Walls where I feel broken and lonely and exhausted after doing all this "stuff" for everyone around me and I can't figure out why my cup isn't left overflowing. I even get bitter about it when I'm the most weary. 

When we do for others, we're supposed to feel good, right? That's what it should feel like and often it does, but the root of my own problem is this. I don't value MYSELF enough to let those things fill that cup. 

Here is the good news though my friends. I'm working on it and the greatest truth I am seeing as I strive to not let the enemy make me feel like I'm junk. That I'm a bad friend, a bad wife, a bad mom, a bad leader, a bad everything. Unvalued. Unworthy. 

I am a child of the King.

No matter what I do or do not do, who I please or don't please, I am His. My feeling of worth cannot come from within or from the outside. It has to come from knowing that I am esteemed, loved, set apart, pursued and loved by Him. More precious than rubies even when I feel like coal.

As someone who struggles so much with self worth, understanding and fully accepting this part of God's goodness is a hard thing to do, but I'm getting there.

This all being said, does that mean I'm going to quit doing all the things I do? Probably not. Let's be real, I'll probably do more. It's the fault in who I am, but I'm going to work on continually seeking God's guidance in those things and ask that He remind me daily how precious I am to him. No matter how I feel.

Because that is where I will find my true value. It's where you can find yours too.

So you see, I'm not Wonder Woman. Not even a super mom. I'm just Amanda.  Full of flaws, but ever growing Amanda.