When the right-brain gets it wrong.

It's the first day of a new year, a new decade and I find myself with an intense urge to write.
But there is a problem.
I have no idea what to write about.
In this moment, just the feeling over my fingers sliding across the keys at 100 miles a minute (backspaces for corrections included), is good enough.
Good enough for me anyway, but for you, the reader, it's probably seeming pretty lame.
The thing is, I constantly feel the need to create.
Whether it's through words or actions or crafting or cooking or.... it's always there.
Always this push to make something better than it was before or make something new or plan.
Like some weird creative addict looking for a fix, I didn't realize it was so much a part of who I was until the last few weeks.

We went into our holiday season with a big trip planned. A Disney Cruise and it was awesome (even with the crummy weather).
 I worked getting gifts bought and wrapped, loose ends tied up, my kids situated with school stuff and our house in order before we left. I wanted to come back to quiet and calm and rest as we entered the week of Christmas and subsequently, the New Year. No to do lists, nothing to finish up. Just time to enjoy the holidays.

But the second we were back, I became restless.
As we went through family gatherings and did all the normal Christmas activities and traditions, it lurked even still.
That restlessness turned into aimlessness.
The aimlessness into frustration and a general BLAH-ness.
Not depression, because that is a BIG word I have walked through before so I NEVER use is to describe moments of blah, but just a general "what's next?" feeling with no direction. Much like this post started with.

What I do know is that next week, the girls will go back to school and "normal" life will pick up once again. There will be needs needing met and projects come up that need done. There will be moments of inspiration that fuel crazy dreams causing me to non-stop think or work on them until they're done.
It's inevitable. It WILL happen. And I will love it. I'll eat it up,  it will consume me, I'll over commit and spend nights lying awake while I map whatever the newest thing is in my head. It's what I do. It's a part of who I am. Who God has (quite) uniquely designed me to be.

But why can't I do that now? In this blah, blank space between seasons?

Because I asked God for time of rest.
And He gave it to me.
And I've been fighting it.
Wait.
What?
BOOM!
Did you catch that?

All that ranting I did before about feeling restless and aimless and not having anything to do... I ASKED for! I asked God before we left for our trip for a time of peace and rest and calm and time to "gather" myself as we step into the next season.

And then as gracious as God was to grant it, I, in my always need to be busy self, totally wished it away and didn't even take time to SEE what I was being given.

Something we all do far too often in so many things if we are honest.
Asking God to move, Him granting our heart's desires and then we just stand there like "now what?"

So God and I had a chat today. I apologized and asked for Him to continue to teach me how to find stillness. That, even in his design of who I am to always be creating, I don't miss the opportunities to just be. To enjoy the moments of not necessarily being needed instead of counteracting those moments by finding something to do so I feel valuable, useful, worthy?

Because is that really what this boils down to? Do I need to create so I feel worthy? There is a whisper that says yes, but I pray it isn't true. Regardless, I don't want that ever to be what I become, so maybe it's okay to recognize it and get it handled. I want the crazy creative brain of mine and willing to work hands to always be doing and moving how God intends for them to do and move.
Even if that means sometimes that they are both totally still.

So I guess I did figure out something to write today. It's scrambled and silly and self reflective and totally a right brain way to write I guess, but instead of just deleting it, my guess is there is someone else like me, out there, who needs to hear the same words.

That rest is ok.
That being still is ok.
That letting your mind and hands take a break is ok.

Even if it feels blah or restless or uneasy for a minute.

Because for you, for I, to be able to continue to serve the way God has designed us to serve, we HAVE to be able to take those moments, sit in them fully, and prepare ourselves for what's next.

2020, you're what's next.
I'm ready.


And as a bonus- this...
because it's hilarious and 100% accurate

The Badge of Busyness...

The first time I heard this phrase, I was so offended. 😆 I mean, who wears being busy like a badge? Like an award of honor? No one does...right?
Wrong.
I do. You do. We all do.
"What do you mean?" You ask?
Think about your last week's worth of social media posts. How many of them noted your running like crazy between ball games or school or work or meetings? How many listed the lengthy schedule you accomplished that day? How many invites did you decline with the explanation of "I've got too much to do?"


Now, there isn't anything particularly wrong with this, per say. It doesn't REALLY harm anything, right? No, not really (except some can make it quite the annoying 1-upping game), but what if there is an area of your life where it IS actually hurting you?

If you're the owner of a small business, home based, MLM, direct sales, whatever you want to call it, flashing this badge can be quite detrimental to your goals.

While in one post or message you ask for friends or customers to book a party or host a fundraiser or even join your team so you can joyfully mentor them along the way, you're making another post talking about how exhausted you are and how you can't take anything else on without drowning.

See what's happening there? You just told those same people you're too busy for them.

Let me give you another example. Say I need to get my car detailed and I have a friend who does that for a living. I hop on their social media to send a quick message to set an appointment, but in the meantime, see that they're talking about how swamped they are, how they're running from her to there and how they feel like they have no time. Do you think I'll feel inclined to send them a message to set that appointment? No way. Because now I've moved from feeling like I was supporting them, to being one more 'to do' on their list & adding to their overwhelmed feeling. Nobody wants to be that person, right?

In my role in my Scentsy business, if I'm sharing the join opportunity and my desire to lead others to reaching their goals, but talk about how tired I am all the time, what am I really saying to those possibly thinking about joining? Possibly, that they would really be more of a burden than the blessing they really would be.

The truth is we are ALL busy. All of us. We are busy with different things, yes, but we all have schedules that sometimes seem impossible to juggle and sometimes actually are. Some of us manage time well and some not so much, yet, for some reason, we flash our busyness around like we are most definitely busier than anyone else could possibly be, instead of just agreeing that we all have our own crazy to manage. Hence, becoming a badge we were maybe all too proudly.

What if instead, we just learned to handle that busy. We were better about that time management or delegating and left our social media world to things that supported our end goal instead of self sabotaging it.
What if we agreed that we all had schedules that were nuts, mostly by our own choosing, because we have WAY more control over it than we want to take responsibility for, but left the details off the forum that we use to grow a business with.

I will never tell someone what to post and what not to post on their social media. Free speech and all, but I think it's so important for us to be prudent, especially when running a business, to carefully consider what we do share and truly decide whether or not that one post could be helping us build a better business or, inadvertently, making it fall apart.

Does your post encourage people to let you serve them & their need of your business?
Does another post contradict that desire?

Let's not make people feel guilty for letting us serve them. Instead, let it be something we urge on.

Today, let's agree to wear the badge of busyness no longer. There is no honor in being busy. Busy is normal. It is what it is. Instead, let's be purposeful in all we say and do knowing that the dreams we are chasing call for us to be intentional & not just busy.

Wishes alone won't work...

Wait, what? But you're a dreamer! Don't dreamers believe is making wishes?"
I am, but friend, those are not the same thing. At all.
You see, a dreamer is someone who sees possibility, who looks beyond what's right in front of them to what could be. A dreamer is one who doesn't feel limited by circumstances or past failures. A dreamer may hit a roadblock, but will then figure out a new way to ramp that sucker and fly over it. They are eager to learn how to accomplish their goals instead of being defeated by the hiccups. Well, that's my definition anyway. A dream chaser, which is the official title I've given myself, is even more aggressive in going after what they want. They know that their goals and their dreams, are their responsibility.

A wisher, well, a wisher is a little more passive. They may be hopeful, wishing things were different,  but don't do a whole lot about it. They say, " I wish I had a better job", but sit hopeless and empty in the same cubicle every day, never filling out applications elsewhere. A wisher doesn't tend to take much responsibility in their roll in their own dreams. They just simply wish things were different, but that's as far as it goes.

So how does one go from simply being a wisher to a dream, or better yet, dream chaser?

Well, first they have to know that whatever they are wishing for, has all the possibility of coming true. Not by luck or throwing a penny in a fountain or yes, even wishing on a star, but by a determination set in their heart to be the one to set the wheels in motion.


Want a better marriage? Learn about each other better. Actively love the other well. Their love language may not be yours, so figure it out and fill their cup in that way. Then, watch as your cup begins to fill.

Want to be a better parent? Love your kids. Hear their concerns & remember what it was like at that age where not getting to sit at one particular lunch table was soul crushing. Empathize. Spend one on one time with them. Don't give them their space. Fill it with reassurance that it will all be ok.

Want a better job? Get online, fill out the applications. Tweak your resume. Go back to school or even learn a new trade. Go after the opportunity, even if it's scary.

Want better fitting clothes? Put down the sugar. Get moving. Even if it's silly, like hula hooping, get your heart rate up & fuel your body with foods that will give you the energy to make it through the day. (or go buy they clothes you should really be fitting into instead of the size you want to be so you can be comfortable in the meantime)

Want better friendships? Be a better listener than you are a talker. Remind your friends of their value. Celebrate the great stuff in their lives, even the littlest of these things and comfort them during the hard stuff. Don't pull away. Press in.

Want a better Scentsy business? Show up. Learn something new every day. Make the calls. Send the emails. Make the samples. Set goals. Know where you are headed & make a path to get you there.

We could go on and on. Better car? Save the money. Bigger house? Work on your credit. Do you see where I'm going here?

"A dream is a wish your heart makes..." and "When you wish upon a star..." are both lyrics from two of my  most favorite songs, so don't get me wrong, I am not "anti-wisher."
Wishing isn't the enemy, complacency  is.
We should see a wish, that first glimmer of something our heart desires, as a seed to be planted.
Like any seed, it needs to be rooted in good soil, fed and watered, so it can grow. Not just thrown into a well. Wishes, when well taken care of, turn into dreams that become chaseable and dreams chased well, become your reality.

So today, I want to challenge you to look at what it is you're wishing for in life. What can you begin to do today to begin to tend to that seed and turn it into a chaseable dream? Write it down. Look at it every day. Make it happen.

Be the joy...

Sometimes that is easier said than done, right? To be the joy in the lives of those around you.

In our business, the business of customer service, this can be one of the greatest tools you could possibly have in your pocket. To be the joy in the lives of your customers.

"What does that even mean?" you ask? "I'm just here to take their order and deliver their products" you say?

Oh, but you can do and be so much more.

Being joy in the lives of your customers means being the person who they love to do business with because the experience they have with you always leaves them feeling awesome. The "Chick Fil A" experience if you will.

A smile. A thank you. A "my pleasure!"

But it goes beyond just this.

It's recognizing that because your two lives are intersected because of your business, you have the opportunity to do life WITH your customer. Now, this doesn't mean you need to be all up in their business and know every intricate detail of said life.  We aren't talking stalker here, but what we are talking about is going beyond just a sales transaction. Showing your customer that because they invest you in, you're willing to invest in them.

To celebrate their highs & recognize the lows. To be gracious and generous and appreciative of what they bring to the table. That every interaction with your customer leaves them better than when they came. That you, with intention, do or say something that reminds then why they can't imagine doing business with anyone else. This could all be said for your role as a leader. The two aren't very far apart at all. It comes down to joy.


"So how do I do that?" I'm glad you asked.

You give handwritten thank you cards. You say 'Happy Birthday!' You celebrate new babies or jobs or graduations. You offer condolences or prayers when their hearts are aching. You bring laughter & goodness on Facebook instead of grouchy complaints or "shares" of ugliness. You smile or say hello when you pass them at Target. You tie up their packages with beautiful ribbon making each order a gift, even if it's just for themselves. You be the joy.

One of my favorite quotes from Walt Disney is this...

Be the joy and do it well. While goodies and giveaways and samples are all great, YOU are truly your greatest billboard when it comes to your business. Your product is amazing, no doubt, but people come back because of what YOU can give them. An experience they can't get many other places. 

Being the joy won't always be easy either. 

When we have our own tough stuff going on, pouring good into those around us can feel daunting. But, my friend, when you choose joy, even in those moments, and you share that joy with others, not only will you see a shift in your business as your customers come back for more and bring their friends along too, but what you'll find is that in being the joy for those around you, your own cup will begin to overflow. It will be inevitable. 

Be the joy.

Happy dream chasing.

-Amanda

I see you...

I do.
Every single one of you.
And I think about you.
About what could have been had you seen it in you too.
Had you been willing to give it more time, more attention, more heart.
If you'd quit listening to the outside voices and the inside voices too that told you this wouldn't work.
I think about the bills you could have paid off. The trips you could have taken. The lives you would have changed. The stories you would have had a hand in creating.
I see momma's who wanted better for their kids. I see women who desired connection & friendship. I see wanderers who couldn't wait to travel the world.
I see moments where past failures tainted the new opportunity.
Where self doubt spoiled the brewing potential.
Where mismanaged time become "I don't have enough of it."
I see you.
And it makes my heart ache.
Because it's in those moments, when I see you "checking out" of your dreams that I wonder what would have happened if those before me had done the same.
If the ones who pursued better for their own self had "checked out" before I had the chance to see what it could do for me.
Would we be here or would we still be swimming drowning debt & "insufficient funds" notices?
Would I still be lonely and depressed & aching for connection?
Would my daughter's have an example of doing things differently in their lives?
Would my marriage have even survived?
Would we have made it to new countries or even across our own?
Would we be living here? Driving this? Doing these things?
Would I even be a dreamer anymore?
What would have happened?

But they didn't. They didn't quit.
They pursued, pressed on & tried harder.
They worked for 'yes' when all they were getting were 'no'.
They ignored the "that will never work" and showed them that it would.
They did not check out on their dreams, but chased them with roaring passion.
Because they knew they were worth it. No matter the cost. No matter the fleeting moments of disappointment. No matter how long it would take. No matter what hills had to be climbed or what awkward "come to Jesus" moments it took with a leader who loved them.
They saw something in them that fueled them forwards and somewhere down the line, I saw it in me too. The hope for something greater and the courage to chase it.

So I see you.
and I still cheer for you.
And I still wonder what could have been...
If you'd only see it in you too.

Keeping a Summer schedule...to save my sanity.

Summer is here! YAY! That means staying up late and sleeping in, lazy days, swimming pools, cooking dinner on the grill, popsicles and sun tans.
But there is a side of Summer that isn't all beachy, am I right?

I feel like, especially for a stay at home/ work at home parent, all of their awesome parenting skills (or lack thereof) are truly tested once Summer break comes. I mean, we've skated by all year with our amazing teachers being in charge for a good 1/3 of the day, but come Summer, all bets are off. This is when our ability to handle our little minions becomes truly tested.

For our house, this is where our Summer schedule has become a sanity saver. We went Summer upon Summer with no plan, no general outline and chaos is what ensued. A constant, ever single day discussion of "what are we going to do today?" "I'm bored!" "I don't want to clean up!" "When will you be done working so we can do something?"
Every. Single. Day.
It wasn't until last Summer that I was inspired by another momma to start a Summer schedule.
Now, before we go further, let me make it clear that this is not a die hard, by the book schedule. It's an outline with a lot of flexibility depending on what's going on that day/week, but it's something. I mean, the kids follow a schedule at school every single day (when they have class, recess, lunch etc.) and then come home during the Summer to no schedule at all. For our girls, we found quickly that having something for them to follow, even if it's pretty flexible, made the whole house happier.
It took us a couple of weeks last year to get a groove going once we had a plan in place, but once it hit a stride, it was awesome!
So it was only natural that as soon as we came home from vacation, that we get this year's plan drawn up and ready to roll.

To start, the girls and I sit down and think about the things we'd like to do this Summer. Daddy isn't involved only because he's at work all day, but it doesn't mean he's left out of the fun.
Next, we divide out chores that will need to be taken care of each day. During the school year, I take on 99.5% of the daily household cleaning because I am here and we want school to be their focus. The only exception is their rooms, in which case, they have to keep those tidy. (they don't like it when I clean them...muahahahahaha)

But during the Summer, we are all 3 here eating meals, making messes, playing etc. so it is completely reasonable for them to take on some of the things I would normally take care of myself. Sharing these responsibilities is a triple win because...
1. I don't have it all on my shoulders on top of the work I need to do for my Scentsy business
2. They don't make near the messes knowing they'll have to clean them up, especially if it's in their area
3. It teaches them pride in hard work and the space which in they live. I don't want to raise slobs.

The chores are divided out equally and we discuss who would be willing to do what. If one does the kitchen, the other does the hall bathroom. If one does the living room, the other does the den. They are both responsible for their own rooms and their laundry. Now, these jobs aren't "down on the floor scrubbing grout with a toothbrush" jobs. They are picking up, wiping down counters, putting away dishes, tidy jobs. I still do the deep cleaning. Their list can be done in an hour is they really get after it, but most days, it takes the morning because they'll start, stop and start again.
But with these things taken care of, the house stays clean enough for anyone to pop by at any time and for those deep clean days to go a lot smoother.

Here is ours for this year. Our dry erase board has seen some hard days and is in need of replacing, so I'll list what this year looks like here for you. Feel free to use it as an outline for your own!

Katie's chores- Bedroom, Den, unload dishwasher, wipe down kitchen counters, personal laundry on Monday/Friday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Tuesday.

Abby's chores- Bedroom, living room, picking up bathroom and wiping down sink, personal laundry on Tuesday/Thursday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Wednesday.

On days they're in charge of dinner, they get to pick the menu, help shop for ingredients and then do as much as is safe to prepare the meal. They LOVE this one! It's not only teaching them some basic cooking skills they need to have anyway, but they also tend to be more adventurous with their choices and very proud when they see what's they've accomplished.

My perfectionist spirit totally wants to use my Cricut to make this beautiful, symmetrical, and perfect, but as the lovely Shaun Niequist quoted in her book 'Present Over Perfect', just because you can, doesn't mean you should. My time is better spent elsewhere (but I think about it every time I walk by that ugly thing) 

Once the chore list is complete and all are agreed, we move on to what the reward will be for taking care of their business. I love a good theme, so we try to come up with alliterative names for each day. (Make it Monday, Thankful Thursday etc). As mentioned before, these things are very flexible and aren't set in stone, but give us a good direction to at least head in that day. Both the chore chart and rewards chart is then written on our dry erase board and propped in the kitchen nook throughout the Summer.

Here is our reward list for this year and then I'll explain how it all works together...

Make it Monday- experiments, crafts etc. Could be a fun recipe, slime, sewing, painting etc. Focus is creativity.

Theater/Tune In Tuesday- movie (our local theater has $2 showings on Tuesdays through the Summer), movie at home, see a play, make up a play. Focus is the performing arts in some way.

Where Will We Go Wednesday-  adventure/discovery day. Could be a trip to the Nature center, the park, out of town for a day trip, museum etc. The focus is purposeful learning or exploring.

Thankful Thursday- looking for ways to bless others or pay it forward in small or big ways. So many options here between baking something to take to another who needs a reminder they are loved or doing small, good things for strangers.

Free Friday- We just changed this one today. It was 'Floatin' Friday' and water themed, but let's be real, we are likely to not just stick to swimming/water fun on Fridays, so we changed this to be an open day. If there is something we want to do that week that didn't get done yet, we'll do it on Fridays or we may just come up with something spur of the moment. The key is that it's totally open.

With all that being said, how does the schedule ACTUALLY work. Well, here's how it works for us.
I am a work from home mom. I run a very successful Scentsy business and am a leader for a large team who I work with each day to help build their own great business. I also have great customers to take care of, orders to put together etc.  That means that I've got to have time to work. During the school year, I do this while they're at school. When they're home, it gets tricky, which is why this plan is perfection in our house.
Our plan is this. We get up in the mornings, have breakfast and do our quiet times/devotionals. Then, I come into my office to work until lunch time. They know that they aren't to disturb me unless necessary because the more work I get done, the more opportunities we have as a family. If you have smaller children, this may be more tricky, but ours are 12 and 8, so it works.
During this time, it's their job to complete their daily tasks. I might remind them once to get them done, but I won't any more than that. We're teaching personal responsibility here people.
At lunch time, I stop working and if they're finished their lists, then we get to spend the afternoon doing whatever is on that days schedule. This set up allows me purposeful time in my business and keeps a great consistency in our week. Every one knows what to expect, so there is no guess work, no asking 500 times what we will do today and no complaining about chores because they know if they just suck it up and get it done, we can have fun.
When do I get my laundry and other cleaning done, you may ask? In between working in the mornings or after we get back from our adventures. My goal, however, is to be disconnected from my business responsibilities and that type of cleaning by the time my husband is home from work so that we can spend the evenings all together. It isn't 100% fail proof, but it's something. This isn't me trying to keep them from being little and enjoying an amazing Summer. It's teaching them how to take care of their business, so we CAN have an amazing Summer.

If your kids thrive on a schedule (even if they won't admit it) , I want to encourage you to give this a try for a couple of weeks and see what happens. I realize this method won't fit every family perfectly, but if you think it could give you even an ounce of sanity, use what you can and adapt what fits your family's dynamic. My greatest peace of advice is let them help you with every part of it because that's where they feel like this is a plan for you all and not just mom or dad telling them what to do.

With that, from our family to yours, we hope you have an incredible Summer filled with adventure, loads of new memories and tons of laughter.

- Amanda

Defeater or Defeated

Yes. That is a poo emoji. On my pretty blog. That's where we are today.
Today, well let's be real, this whole weekend has been poo. Legitimate poo.
My kids were nuts all weekend, choosing obedience very few times and ornery, rule bending most of the time. I yelled...a lot. I got made at my husband for stupid stuff. Projects I tried to work on weren't going like they needed too and I felt icky to top it all off.
Last night in bed before we fell asleep, I told my husband that I often feel like the world is either against me or wants something from me. Either way, I feel defeated... a lot.

After some praying, I woke up today with a refreshed spirit (or so I thought). I was in a good mood, was feeling some better, had my coffee and was ready to knock off some things sitting on my to do list with a song of praise in my heart.
Then, it started happening... again.
Nothing was working.
Reports I needed weren't pulling up, some recognition gifts I was working on were being toal booger faces and my attitude was getting worse and worse.
I don't want to do this again. The weekend was enough. I don't want to start another day like this. It was then I decided I would try and listen to some praise and worship to relieve my heart of the frustration it felt. Wanna know what happened? Pandora wouldn't work. Fine, find Pandora. Don't work. I'll use Youtube instead. Guess what? Yep. Nada. Wasn't working either.
So I got mad.
Super mad.
But not at the stuff I was working on or the technology that hated me, but at the Enemy. The Devil. Lucifer himself.

You see, as Christians, sometimes we forget or even dismiss where our trouble stems from.
We blame other things when the root of the chaos comes from Hell itself.
Does the enemy want me to seize my day? No.
Does he want me to be in a good mood? No.
Does he want me to be a frustrated, broken, yelling, defeated woman? YES!

So I got mad and I told him about it. I reminded him Who's I was. I reminded him that he has not hold on me and that he had not control over my business, my family, my mind or my heart. That my children are God's, that my marriage is God's and that I am God's.
I became indignant. No more.

My friends, we are not defeated. Yes, stuff is straight up crummy some times...a lot of times. Things don't go our way, relationships are hurting, we are hurting, our kids are exhausting, but we are not defeated.

Instead, we MUST decide to take our place as Defeaters. We hold the power you see. We are the victors here as long as we take that authority and stand strong with it. Will that make all the hard stuff disappear? Not at all, but what it will do is make us stronger through it. Able to walk tall, indignant and with a force no enemy can stand against.
No matter what promises you're standing on, you have all authority to take any hold Satan might have on them away.
You just simply have to tell him. In Jesus' name.

Back to this morning, I got mad and then I prayed. Within minutes of praying, music started working, my silly vinyl letter E that went mysteriously missing for my project was found stuck to the back of my finger and my reports started behaving. Funny, right?

My dear friends, I am not defeated. You are not defeated. We ARE defeaters through Christ.
Recognize who's fighting against you today. Tell him he has to flee and then find your rest, your peace, your victory knowing that YOU are a child of the King.
Defeater.
NOT Defeated.