When the right-brain gets it wrong.

It's the first day of a new year, a new decade and I find myself with an intense urge to write.
But there is a problem.
I have no idea what to write about.
In this moment, just the feeling over my fingers sliding across the keys at 100 miles a minute (backspaces for corrections included), is good enough.
Good enough for me anyway, but for you, the reader, it's probably seeming pretty lame.
The thing is, I constantly feel the need to create.
Whether it's through words or actions or crafting or cooking or.... it's always there.
Always this push to make something better than it was before or make something new or plan.
Like some weird creative addict looking for a fix, I didn't realize it was so much a part of who I was until the last few weeks.

We went into our holiday season with a big trip planned. A Disney Cruise and it was awesome (even with the crummy weather).
 I worked getting gifts bought and wrapped, loose ends tied up, my kids situated with school stuff and our house in order before we left. I wanted to come back to quiet and calm and rest as we entered the week of Christmas and subsequently, the New Year. No to do lists, nothing to finish up. Just time to enjoy the holidays.

But the second we were back, I became restless.
As we went through family gatherings and did all the normal Christmas activities and traditions, it lurked even still.
That restlessness turned into aimlessness.
The aimlessness into frustration and a general BLAH-ness.
Not depression, because that is a BIG word I have walked through before so I NEVER use is to describe moments of blah, but just a general "what's next?" feeling with no direction. Much like this post started with.

What I do know is that next week, the girls will go back to school and "normal" life will pick up once again. There will be needs needing met and projects come up that need done. There will be moments of inspiration that fuel crazy dreams causing me to non-stop think or work on them until they're done.
It's inevitable. It WILL happen. And I will love it. I'll eat it up,  it will consume me, I'll over commit and spend nights lying awake while I map whatever the newest thing is in my head. It's what I do. It's a part of who I am. Who God has (quite) uniquely designed me to be.

But why can't I do that now? In this blah, blank space between seasons?

Because I asked God for time of rest.
And He gave it to me.
And I've been fighting it.
Wait.
What?
BOOM!
Did you catch that?

All that ranting I did before about feeling restless and aimless and not having anything to do... I ASKED for! I asked God before we left for our trip for a time of peace and rest and calm and time to "gather" myself as we step into the next season.

And then as gracious as God was to grant it, I, in my always need to be busy self, totally wished it away and didn't even take time to SEE what I was being given.

Something we all do far too often in so many things if we are honest.
Asking God to move, Him granting our heart's desires and then we just stand there like "now what?"

So God and I had a chat today. I apologized and asked for Him to continue to teach me how to find stillness. That, even in his design of who I am to always be creating, I don't miss the opportunities to just be. To enjoy the moments of not necessarily being needed instead of counteracting those moments by finding something to do so I feel valuable, useful, worthy?

Because is that really what this boils down to? Do I need to create so I feel worthy? There is a whisper that says yes, but I pray it isn't true. Regardless, I don't want that ever to be what I become, so maybe it's okay to recognize it and get it handled. I want the crazy creative brain of mine and willing to work hands to always be doing and moving how God intends for them to do and move.
Even if that means sometimes that they are both totally still.

So I guess I did figure out something to write today. It's scrambled and silly and self reflective and totally a right brain way to write I guess, but instead of just deleting it, my guess is there is someone else like me, out there, who needs to hear the same words.

That rest is ok.
That being still is ok.
That letting your mind and hands take a break is ok.

Even if it feels blah or restless or uneasy for a minute.

Because for you, for I, to be able to continue to serve the way God has designed us to serve, we HAVE to be able to take those moments, sit in them fully, and prepare ourselves for what's next.

2020, you're what's next.
I'm ready.


And as a bonus- this...
because it's hilarious and 100% accurate

The Mondayest Monday ever and it's only 8am...

Oh friends, it is. It's most definitely a Monday.
I'm not usually one to shy away from a Monday. I actually like them quite a bit. I love new beginnings, new chances to get done what I couldn't last week. I get the house back in order on Mondays, catch up on my role as a leader on Mondays.. it's always a fresh start.
But not today.
Today, it is the Mondayest Monday ever and it's only 8 am.

In our house, we prep for the next day, the night before. Since yesterday was a Sunday, I encouraged my girls early in the afternoon to get their clothes set out, gym bags together & asked (again) if homework was done. 30 minutes before bedtime, I double checked just to be sure everything was done. Assurance is what I got in return. Everything was ready for Monday.

Except it wasn't.

One daughter, K, who did have her things together, had (what I like to call) "dragon hiney" today. Slow as molasses & kept waiting for others to be out of her way before she did the next thing she needed to take care of. For instance, sister was in the bathroom, she needed to use it, so she waited on her bed...instead of using the second bathroom or putting her bags in the car etc. She could have been getting further ahead if she had just done something else while waiting instead of sitting stagnant.

My second daughter, A, put on her clothes in a timely manner (although she is wearing leggings and winter boots on possibly the hottest day of August, but whatever), but then as we were minutes from walking out the door, told me she needed help with her homework.

Ya'll. I can't even.
But, in an effort to keep things moving, I calmly try and help her figure it out (quickly). I heard the words, "I don't know!" 500 times in that 3 minutes and a bonus "I shouldn't even be in 5th grade! I don't even know how to spell biscuits right!" Things were beginning to go downhill. My patience about to snowball with it.
I calmly helper her finish her paper, got it in her bag, ushered her to the car and reminded K that we needed to leave NOW.

Head to the garage where A starts losing her ever loving marbles because she can't find her gym bag.
Friends I can't even find the appropriate emoji to cleverly place here. K has to be to the ball field in 3 minutes, she's not even in the car and now we have a missing gym bag??? That should have been prepped YESTERDAY! I. can't. even.

I send A back inside with her dad to find her bag while I take K to the field (who was 3 minutes late), come back to get A (who never found her bag) and get her to school. On the way, A lamented about how she would get in trouble for not having her bag for PE as tears dripped down her face. What I've left out here is how I totally lost my cool, yelled & reiterated my HUGE disappointment in how this supposedly "prepared morning" was going.

Again, Mondayest Monday.

So what does this have to do with business? Your business? My business?

It has everything to do with it.

How could all of this been avoided? How SHOULD this Monday have started? Smoothly. It should have started quietly, simply and easily. The girls should have prepped for today yesterday like they knew they should have. Checking bags, laying out clothes, & making sure homework was done. That was their job. A little preparation to make sure they were ready to handle their responsibilities. See where I'm going here?

Sometimes friends, we are the one putting those obstacles in our own way. We don't take the time to prepare for the day, for our business, for our dreams. We decide to wing it and then get frustrated when nothing goes as unplanned.
Or, we sit and wait for people or things to get out of our way instead of doing other things that will get us closer to where we want to be in the meantime. All of it is our choice. We can blame circumstances or other people all we want, but our dreams aren't their responsibility. They're ours.

The truth is you cannot have a successful business or a successful life without preparation, focus and willingness to change things up when one way of doing things gets blocked. I've never heard of anyone "accidentally" getting a degree, paying off debt, or earning a promotion.
 It is all done by knowing what you need to get you where you want to go.

So while our Monday has started off in disorder and crazy, the good news is, it doesn't have to stay that way. In our house, we have "restarts". At any time in the day, we can restart, forgive what's happened before and move on like it was never a hot mess of madness. On the car ride to the field, K and I talked about how to do things better & A and I forgave each other's impatience & I sent them to school with restarts in their pockets.
The same applies for where you are right now.
If things haven't been going right today, this weekend or this month- call a restart. You have a new week to grab hold of, to prep for, to conquer.
Don't wing it. Don't wait for other people to get out of your way. Go take care of yourself, your business and your future. Own it. Step up. Know what you need to get to where you are going and for goodness sakes, please make sure your homework is done. 😉
-Amanda

Keeping a Summer schedule...to save my sanity.

Summer is here! YAY! That means staying up late and sleeping in, lazy days, swimming pools, cooking dinner on the grill, popsicles and sun tans.
But there is a side of Summer that isn't all beachy, am I right?

I feel like, especially for a stay at home/ work at home parent, all of their awesome parenting skills (or lack thereof) are truly tested once Summer break comes. I mean, we've skated by all year with our amazing teachers being in charge for a good 1/3 of the day, but come Summer, all bets are off. This is when our ability to handle our little minions becomes truly tested.

For our house, this is where our Summer schedule has become a sanity saver. We went Summer upon Summer with no plan, no general outline and chaos is what ensued. A constant, ever single day discussion of "what are we going to do today?" "I'm bored!" "I don't want to clean up!" "When will you be done working so we can do something?"
Every. Single. Day.
It wasn't until last Summer that I was inspired by another momma to start a Summer schedule.
Now, before we go further, let me make it clear that this is not a die hard, by the book schedule. It's an outline with a lot of flexibility depending on what's going on that day/week, but it's something. I mean, the kids follow a schedule at school every single day (when they have class, recess, lunch etc.) and then come home during the Summer to no schedule at all. For our girls, we found quickly that having something for them to follow, even if it's pretty flexible, made the whole house happier.
It took us a couple of weeks last year to get a groove going once we had a plan in place, but once it hit a stride, it was awesome!
So it was only natural that as soon as we came home from vacation, that we get this year's plan drawn up and ready to roll.

To start, the girls and I sit down and think about the things we'd like to do this Summer. Daddy isn't involved only because he's at work all day, but it doesn't mean he's left out of the fun.
Next, we divide out chores that will need to be taken care of each day. During the school year, I take on 99.5% of the daily household cleaning because I am here and we want school to be their focus. The only exception is their rooms, in which case, they have to keep those tidy. (they don't like it when I clean them...muahahahahaha)

But during the Summer, we are all 3 here eating meals, making messes, playing etc. so it is completely reasonable for them to take on some of the things I would normally take care of myself. Sharing these responsibilities is a triple win because...
1. I don't have it all on my shoulders on top of the work I need to do for my Scentsy business
2. They don't make near the messes knowing they'll have to clean them up, especially if it's in their area
3. It teaches them pride in hard work and the space which in they live. I don't want to raise slobs.

The chores are divided out equally and we discuss who would be willing to do what. If one does the kitchen, the other does the hall bathroom. If one does the living room, the other does the den. They are both responsible for their own rooms and their laundry. Now, these jobs aren't "down on the floor scrubbing grout with a toothbrush" jobs. They are picking up, wiping down counters, putting away dishes, tidy jobs. I still do the deep cleaning. Their list can be done in an hour is they really get after it, but most days, it takes the morning because they'll start, stop and start again.
But with these things taken care of, the house stays clean enough for anyone to pop by at any time and for those deep clean days to go a lot smoother.

Here is ours for this year. Our dry erase board has seen some hard days and is in need of replacing, so I'll list what this year looks like here for you. Feel free to use it as an outline for your own!

Katie's chores- Bedroom, Den, unload dishwasher, wipe down kitchen counters, personal laundry on Monday/Friday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Tuesday.

Abby's chores- Bedroom, living room, picking up bathroom and wiping down sink, personal laundry on Tuesday/Thursday, devotional, in charge of dinner on Wednesday.

On days they're in charge of dinner, they get to pick the menu, help shop for ingredients and then do as much as is safe to prepare the meal. They LOVE this one! It's not only teaching them some basic cooking skills they need to have anyway, but they also tend to be more adventurous with their choices and very proud when they see what's they've accomplished.

My perfectionist spirit totally wants to use my Cricut to make this beautiful, symmetrical, and perfect, but as the lovely Shaun Niequist quoted in her book 'Present Over Perfect', just because you can, doesn't mean you should. My time is better spent elsewhere (but I think about it every time I walk by that ugly thing) 

Once the chore list is complete and all are agreed, we move on to what the reward will be for taking care of their business. I love a good theme, so we try to come up with alliterative names for each day. (Make it Monday, Thankful Thursday etc). As mentioned before, these things are very flexible and aren't set in stone, but give us a good direction to at least head in that day. Both the chore chart and rewards chart is then written on our dry erase board and propped in the kitchen nook throughout the Summer.

Here is our reward list for this year and then I'll explain how it all works together...

Make it Monday- experiments, crafts etc. Could be a fun recipe, slime, sewing, painting etc. Focus is creativity.

Theater/Tune In Tuesday- movie (our local theater has $2 showings on Tuesdays through the Summer), movie at home, see a play, make up a play. Focus is the performing arts in some way.

Where Will We Go Wednesday-  adventure/discovery day. Could be a trip to the Nature center, the park, out of town for a day trip, museum etc. The focus is purposeful learning or exploring.

Thankful Thursday- looking for ways to bless others or pay it forward in small or big ways. So many options here between baking something to take to another who needs a reminder they are loved or doing small, good things for strangers.

Free Friday- We just changed this one today. It was 'Floatin' Friday' and water themed, but let's be real, we are likely to not just stick to swimming/water fun on Fridays, so we changed this to be an open day. If there is something we want to do that week that didn't get done yet, we'll do it on Fridays or we may just come up with something spur of the moment. The key is that it's totally open.

With all that being said, how does the schedule ACTUALLY work. Well, here's how it works for us.
I am a work from home mom. I run a very successful Scentsy business and am a leader for a large team who I work with each day to help build their own great business. I also have great customers to take care of, orders to put together etc.  That means that I've got to have time to work. During the school year, I do this while they're at school. When they're home, it gets tricky, which is why this plan is perfection in our house.
Our plan is this. We get up in the mornings, have breakfast and do our quiet times/devotionals. Then, I come into my office to work until lunch time. They know that they aren't to disturb me unless necessary because the more work I get done, the more opportunities we have as a family. If you have smaller children, this may be more tricky, but ours are 12 and 8, so it works.
During this time, it's their job to complete their daily tasks. I might remind them once to get them done, but I won't any more than that. We're teaching personal responsibility here people.
At lunch time, I stop working and if they're finished their lists, then we get to spend the afternoon doing whatever is on that days schedule. This set up allows me purposeful time in my business and keeps a great consistency in our week. Every one knows what to expect, so there is no guess work, no asking 500 times what we will do today and no complaining about chores because they know if they just suck it up and get it done, we can have fun.
When do I get my laundry and other cleaning done, you may ask? In between working in the mornings or after we get back from our adventures. My goal, however, is to be disconnected from my business responsibilities and that type of cleaning by the time my husband is home from work so that we can spend the evenings all together. It isn't 100% fail proof, but it's something. This isn't me trying to keep them from being little and enjoying an amazing Summer. It's teaching them how to take care of their business, so we CAN have an amazing Summer.

If your kids thrive on a schedule (even if they won't admit it) , I want to encourage you to give this a try for a couple of weeks and see what happens. I realize this method won't fit every family perfectly, but if you think it could give you even an ounce of sanity, use what you can and adapt what fits your family's dynamic. My greatest peace of advice is let them help you with every part of it because that's where they feel like this is a plan for you all and not just mom or dad telling them what to do.

With that, from our family to yours, we hope you have an incredible Summer filled with adventure, loads of new memories and tons of laughter.

- Amanda