My toxic trait is...

Narrative writing

nar·ra·tive

/ˈnerədiv/

noun

• 1.a spoken or written account of connected events; a story. 
• 
  

A story. 

In this case, the skill of completely building up an entire story about how someone else is feeling, what they're doing, what they think about us or how a situation is or conversation is certain to unfurl. Deciding that the passive aggressive post or comment was CERTAINLY about us or how we must not be worthy because someone didn't "show up" in a way that was would have "shown up" for them.

It's been a conversation we've been having often within the walls of our home lately.

My girls are becoming quite skilled in this area and to be fair, they come by it naturally. You see, I have a pretend Master's degree in it. 

As someone who yearns for security, has struggled with anxiety, and hates curveballs, my narrative writing has been something I've used to "get ahead of" any hard conversations or feelings or scary events, preparing myself for what I will say or how I will react. 

Oh, by the way, Empathetic, big feeling Enneagram 2 here. Nice to meet you. 

If I can completely write an entire "what if" scenario, then, when that icky thing inevitably happens, I'm not caught off guard. I'm "safer". I can't get AS hurt.  It is something I have honed and perfected over time as a defense mechanism.  It's self-protection. At least, that's what I've convinced myself of. 

What I've come to realize is, as I've worked to make this skill something "useful" for me, all it has really done is hurt me. Big time. 

In fact, it hasn't served me in any beneficial way at all. Narrative writing IS my toxic trait. 

What I've discovered through this realization has been three fold. 

1. What I think will happen never really happens:

The first thing I've realized is 99.9% of the situations or conversations I have "written" never actually turn out like I've dreamed up. I have caused myself immense fear, heartache and worry over something that just isn't likely to even happen.

That's logical. 

Of course they don't. Why? Well, first- I have a REALLY good imagination. I mean, REALLY GOOD! You should see how I dream or what I can create when I use that super power for good. 

But in this frame, I don't just dream up the basics when I start writing pretend conversations or scenarios. I go into full detail of who will say or do what, what they MUST be thinking about me right now or, in my deepest places, exactly how that plane will plummet from the sky in a barreling ball of fire and smoke and how I would save me and mine.  (Logic check- I know there is nothing I could actually do in that last example. Which is why I don't fly. 😂. Level 74 of aforementioned toxic trait. We will save that for another day).

The issue is, typically, when our brains go into Narrative writing mode, it's usually 0% logical or rational thinking. Okay, maybe like 5% tops because sometimes we write those stories based on past experiences in those spaces, but I don't think we can give it much more than that because our imaginations certainly make things a little more wild than what truth really is. 

In fact, in this very moment, I am fighting the urge to author an entire made up story as someone who normally communicates with me often has just... stopped. Cold turkey. I've reached out and had with no reply (but the message has been seen) which has prompted moments of spiraling thoughts on the why. 

I must have said something that made them mad, disappointed them, or they probably just don't like me anymore. Seem familiar?

Side note: This doesn't mean that there won't be times when you just come across someone who is just plain miserable, but that isn't for you to carry either unless you HAVE done something wrong and then you do need to go make it right. Even if right means that you can go separate ways, but the beef has been squashed so both of you can move on peacefully. 

Circling back to logical thinking, the truth is, they could just be busy or not need my help like they once did or could be going through some of their own junk, but I can't help but decide it must be a ME issue. 

Which takes me to my next discovery on why this is more harmful than helpful.

It's all about me.

I don't consider myself a selfish person, but this is one area where I make it all about me. 

Nearly every narrative I write has ME on the defense. 

"They must hate ME." "They must not like ME" . "I am not good enough". "I must have done something wrong." " Me, me, I, I and the cycle continues. 

As I decide for myself what is going on in someone's head or heart, I inadvertently rip myself apart,  nit picking everything I've said or done, trying to dissect it down to the root so I can then work how I need to deal with it, what I will say or not say, so I don't mess up again. 

Wait, wait, wait. Isn't this "skill" supposed to be about protecting me? Funny, isn't it? Well, not really funny. Sad. Really sad because this can also has a super fun side affect of triggering my anxiety which can send me into a tailspin of feelings and emotions that spill into other areas like my parenting, my beliefs in myself as a leader in my business or even my role as a wife and friend. 

Self-depreciating talk that leaves me feeling like an absolute failure in all the things. All because someone didn't reply to my text or didn't say hi at Walmart.

It couldn't POSSIBLY be that something is off because THEY are busy or have THEIR own things going on or are struggling with THEIR own junk. It's because I'm worthless. It must be ME. 

How unfair of me to do this to myself, but to them as well. 

Which brings me to my last discovery. 

It isn't fair to them either. 

As much as it isn't fair to my own heart to decide I am the issue, it isn't fair to them either. 

This is something I realized in talking with my oldest who, in her own narrative writing, decided that one of her close friends must not really like her because she invited someone else to do something with her instead of my daughter. She did her own little spiral of self talk & then started getting angry at her friend for what she THOUGHT she was thinking and doing.

Whoa nelly! Hold your horses! That's so unfair. 

In writing our own narrative, we don't only end up being insanely hard on ourselves, but we also are too harsh on others. We put words in their mouths, thoughts in their heads and can even vastly redesign their entire character simply because we can't get out imaginations in check. I've seen people literally throw away long time friendships based on assumptions they've dreamed up inside their own pretty little heads based very little on fact. 

It is so important in these moments that we stop & remember who it is we are talking about. Is how you're feeling about what you THINK they are feeling/saying/doing true to who they are?

Do they normally act like the crazy person you have created them to be?

Do they normally say or do the hateful things you've now created them to say or do because of your insecurities or fears?

No? Then stop putting that on them! Stop trying to convince yourself they are your enemy. STOP WRITING THE NARRATIVE. 

It's a lie.

This "act of self-protection" has been a lie all along. A device the enemy has used to trick us into thinking if we "got ahead" of the situation in our heads,  we'll be much more prepared to handle them in real life. Absolute bull snot. 

We not only end up damaging ourselves in this process by increasing our own fear & anxiety & treating our own minds and hearts with disrespect, but we end up treating others poorly too. 

Whether directly, by a lashing out with hurtful works after you spent weeks stirring up undue anger inside yourself because you already decided what they were thinking or feeling.

Or indirectly by cheating them and ourselves out of meaningful conversations and relationships because we've misjudged and mislabeled who they really are or their intent. All because we couldn't get our imaginations in check. All because we took a smidgen of experience or information & blew it up into a 5 part Lifetime series.

It isn't fair to anyone involved. You, them, anytime caught in between.

So how do we stop it? Well, I'm still figuring that part out. 

What I can share is when I do find myself starting to go "down the rabbit hole" I try to stop & ask myself these questions:

"Is that who they really are?"

"Is that who I really am?"

"Is that fact or what I think is true?"

"Is this logical or emotional?"

So far, I've been able to talk myself off the ledge by running through this list, but on the occasion that I haven't, I just do the hard thing and go have the conversation with whomever it is I feel a weird thing with. I throw out a "hey, are we ok?" or "so, I have a quick question because we know I'm crazy and I can't stop thinking about..." (a little light heartedness so it isn't as awkward) 

Want to hear some good news? To date, 95% of it was indeed all in my head! 😆 Of course it was.

Oh and that 5%? It's bene all easily solved with a convo the clear some miscommunication or confusion up. That's it! Whew! What a relief! 

So today, let me challenge you, as I continue to challenge myself to stop writing the narrative. We are not the Author.

Use that creative energy for good, not the bad.

Use that wild imagination for taking your kids on fun adventures or story telling or creating a life you love. 

Not for dreaming up what could go wrong, is going wrong, how you've done wrong or being wronged. 

There is no peace to be found is sitting inside the what ifs.  

Live inside the freedom that can be found in extending that grace to yourself and to others. 

Live inside the life you are living, not the version you try to write to protect yourself of what could come.

Do yourself a favor. 

Stop writing the narrative. 

The $50 Home Makeover

Like a lot of people who ended up at home during the lockdown of 2020, I became quite restless. I am a doer & that didn't subside while my doing couldn't be done. Instead of being able to do things outside my home, I turned to doing things for my home. Idle hands and all...

During quarantine, we had already repainted our living area, gave my youngest daughter's bedroom a new look with a fun accent wall and updated our den with a shiplap half wall & more industrial theme. You'd think that would have kept me busy enough to scratch the "doers" itch, but it didn't, so I was always looking for another project to tackle. It was therapy. A way to "escape" the heaviness around us.

I've never loved the color of the brick on our home. I mean, it was fine, but it was dark & didn't reflect at all what to expect when you came inside, which is light, airy & full of greys & blues. A color palette & feel we hope brings a coziness to our guests. It was also VERY 1980 Ranch. Which is great...for 1980. But not for us, now. 

Meh. 😂

But, I mean, what could I do about that? I'd researched painting the brick before, but there were a couple of hang ups for me. The first being that painting brick can be potentially harmful to the brick itself & cause it to deteriorate. The second was cost. If you know me, value is a big deal to me. (I feel like this is a much nicer label than cheap or even frugal). The cost to have brick painted or even do it yourself isn't small. And then what if I hated it? There would be no turning back & I'd be stuck.

Which is what sent me on a road to Pinterest. Pinterest, in my opinion, is the mecca of all things "How can I get what I want without paying a bunch for it". The DIY'ers goldmine.

And what I found has had a massive impact on the look of our home and has probably brought you to this blog to see how you can do the same for yours, so I'm here to share my new found smarts with you.

What I found was a process for white washing brick using Hydrated Lime. NOT the hydrated lime you would use in your garden. This is a SUPER important thing to know. I'm talking about Hydrated Lime masons use in doing concrete or brick work. We will talk more about that in a minute. 

I read about another bloggers experience white washing their brick using this method. (I would have linked her process here, but it looks as if her blog is no longer active).

She shared her before & after pics, her tips & that the whole project only cost them about $50. 

WHAT!? ONLY $50?!!!!! 

SOLD!

It took a few more days to read up on this process &, let's be honest, talk my husband into letting me try it.  I think what sold him was the minimal cost & that if we hated the outcome, we could power wash it off within a day or two & it would be like it never happened. My guess is he figured it would at least keep be busy for a couple of days so I wouldn't come up with another project instead. ;) 

So I masked up & headed out to find my supplies.

Here is what I needed:

 

• Masonry Brush - $7.50 from Lowes. I recommend picking one with bristles that are soft & not plastic like. We bought both & the application was much easier with the softer brush
• A 50lb bag of Hydrated Lime $20 from Yeager's hardware store (Our Lowes & Home Depot didn't have any. Again, NOT garden Lime. You want what is meant for concrete/masonry)
• 5 gallon bucket for mixing
• Water 
• Gloves - I didn't wear them on day 1 & realized at the end of the day why I should of. It will irritate your skin & you won't feel it until you've cleaned up & see red blotches that 
• Protective eye wear - for the same reason as wearing gloves. The hydrated lime is caustic, so while it won't feel like it's in there or burn, it can cause damage if it gets in your peepers, so just protect them, mmk?

An additional tool we bough was an attachment for a drill to mix the solution in the bucket, which is what pushes our project total to $50. Otherwise, we'd be just around $30. This is optional and is helpful, but not 100% a must. 

We also recommend power washing your brick to clean it well a day or two before you are going to white wash it. We already had one, so that was not an additional cost. 

The Application Process- 

As I just mentioned, I recommend power washing your brick to make sure any dirt or debris is off of it before white washing to make sure you get the best coverage possible.

    1. You'll start by mixing your solution. If you want a solid white look to your brick, you'll mix your solution with a 1:1 ratio. Meaning, 1 cup of lime to 1 cup of water. Mix well until full combined.

TIP: We made our batches 4 cups at a time (4 cups lime to 4 cups of water) so didn't have to mix new batches as often. 

    If you want a thinner, more transparent finish so some of your brick shows, you'll simply dilute it with more water. I would definitely make sure you're keeping up with measurements so your ratio stays consistent through the process. You might even test a small section of bricks with different ratios, letting it dry for a few hours & seeing which you like best. We wanted an opaque finish, so 1:1 was the solution for us.

    2. Working a section at a time, wet your brick well with water. Dip your masonry brush into your solution and starting at the top, wipe it onto the brick. This is a sloppy process but SOOOO easy!

Cover your brick, using the bristles to help get into the nooks and crannies, down to the bottom of that section.

    3. Repeat this process for each section, working your way around the house, overlapping the last section just a little. Remember, wet your brick then wipe on your solution top to bottom.

Now, listen. This won't look like much when it's wet. Here is what I mean-

You will think you need to go over it again or add more. Don't. Let it dry.

As the solution dries into the brick, it will become more opaque i.e. solid. You can also go back and do another coat once it is dry if it isn't as solid as you'd like. Just be patient with the process. 

    

After 1 coat of a 1:1 ratio

Cleaning up your tools is this easy as well. Simply spray everything down with water & wash it out. 

If, after you've let everything dry, you hate it. Don't worry! As long as you take a power washer to is within a couple of days, you SHOULD be able to remove all signs of your project and go back to your original look. I'm not going to promise it, because I don't want that liability, but it should wash right off. 

                                               Before                               After drying, but before distressing

Adding some character- 

Once you've done your whole house, you can then decide if you want to keep it solid or go back and add in some brick "distressing" to add a little more character.

I tried a few different techniques for this trying to get the right look & what I found to be the best method was a dish scrubbing brush and water. I dipped the brush in the water and went over the brick to basically scrub away the white wash. I did them singularly and in groups to give a "worn" look. There is no real pattern and some brick has more distressing than others, but that's the point, right?

Some final tips-

A few of other notes that I would share with you that we learned along the way would be these...

• Having a second person to be one step ahead of you is SUPER helpful. My husband would stay ahead of me and take care of things like moving anything in the way or pre wetting the brick. This allowed me to just keep moving along. 

• If you drip on a surface you don't want white wash on, don't fret. On things like windows, it cleans easily with paper towels and water. On concrete, like your porch, you can pour water on it quickly to dilute it thin enough to wash off or, if you're like us, and let it set for...a couple of weeks, a quick spray of the power washer lifted it right out. 

• When the brick gets wet from rain or any other water source, it will become transparent. This doesn't mean it's ruined. Once it dries, it will go back to normal.  We have found in a few spots, where runoff from rain hits the rock or concrete next to the house and bounces hard back up on the brick that we have some wear happening. We will fix this by doing a touch up coat of white wash & putting some landscaping down to prevent any further wear. Easy peasy.

That's it! That's all there is to it! It really is THAT simple and man, the final look is chef's kiss!

Your "new" brick should last around 5-7 years before needing to be touched up. During that time, it will just gradually, lightly fade. You might even enjoy that look too! 

In my opinion, for the outcome we got and how easy the process was, needing a touch up in 5-7 years is totally worth it! We have had SO many wonderful compliments on how it has totally changed the look of our 1980's Ranch style house & it feels even better knowing it was such an inexpensive and simple project to take on. We are 6 months in at this point & are still looking snazzy!

                Back Porch before white wash                                                 After white wash 

This $50 project totally turned into a "If you give a mouse a cookie" situation, but those are blogs for another day. 😆 White washing the brick totally inspired some other changes, so be prepared for that too. 😂

We ended up painting our roof. Yes, painted it, (using Behr Roof Paint ) to be more cohesive with the white & also replaced  the old, stained vinyl siding from cream to grey. We also totally demo'd the roof on the back porch & replaced it with a whole new add on to our home. I'll share that update in another blog post. It's AWESOME! 

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Have questions? Ask away! 

-Amanda 

Our favorite, one pot DIY Ramen Bowls

This recipe is always on standby at our house for when we are tired of the usual or want something that feels special, without the time special normally takes. 

            

It is simple, quick and always a pleaser because everyone can build their bowl exactly as they please. It’s a recipe that takes your every day I stand noodle pack and makes it a little more bougie. ;) 

Here’s what you need to get started: 

(serves 4 as is)

•4 packages of Instant Ramen Noodles (any flavor will do because you won’t be using the seasoning packet)

•48 oz. beef broth 

•2 cups water 

•1 lb. chicken breasts or thighs, sliced into strips (we prefer the garlic herb pre seasoned breasts from Walmart)

•4 eggs, boiled and peeled (we LOVE using our Instant Pot to “boil” ours while I work on the rest of the recipe 

•2 cups chopped Kale 

•3 tbl. Soy sauce to taste 

•2 tbl. Chopped garlic  (or more to taste)

•1 tbl. Grated fresh ginger (a must! Don’t skip this step! It really adds so much goodness!)

Additional ingredients we like to add in to customize our bowls:

Sliced mushrooms

Limes, quartered 

Green onions, sliced 

Kimchi (found in the refrigerated produce section at your grocery store- just try it!)

Sriracha or red chili flakes for spice

To begin, use a non-stick, deep pan or pot to cook your chicken. You’ll use the same pot/pan to make your broth, so you want it at least a few inches deep. 

If using pre-seasoned garlic herb chicken, cook as is. If not, season with salt, pepper and garlic powder, cook until done and then set aside. 

In the same pan, on medium heat, sauté your garlic in a tbl. of olive oil until fragrant. Add soy sauce and stir. Pour in beef broth and water and stir to combine. Bring to a rolling boil and then add the noodles only from your instant ramen packages. (Save the seasoning packets for another day).

As your noodles cook in your broth, chop your mushrooms, kale, limes, and green onions and set aside. I will put all the add ins, boiled eggs included, on a plate for presentation or, if I’m wanting to keep things simple, it all stays on the cutting mat. I’ll also set our soy sauce (Because my husband always wants extra) and the kimchi. If you’ve never tried kimchi, give it whirl. I didn’t for years and regret all that lost time with this probiotic powerhouse. Our whole family loves it for a crunchy, slightly spicy, zesty addition. 

            

Once noodles are almost done, add in the kale and simmer on low until tender. Hate kale? Skip this step or throw another leafy green in it's place. It's a great boost of vitamins and texture.

Grate in fresh ginger (seriously, it makes all the difference- grab a small piece in the produce section, peel the skin off and grate the inside “meat”) 

Now you’re ready to serve! I totally failed you here by not taking a picture of our bowls all together and prettied up with a slew of toppings, but.... we dove in too fast to snap one. 😂

I spoon broth and the noodles into a bowl and pass off to my fam for them to build the rest as they please! Each person gets to create their bowl exactly as they’d like which means no complaints to the chef, because they are the chef! 😉 Your family can add exactly what they want from your chopping board to their bowl and create their own masterpiece. 

If you give our recipe a try, we’d love to hear what you added to yours and what your fam thought! Happy eating! 

Boredom Busters for kids & teens

Whether it's because you're forced to stay home during a pandemic or 

are trying to survive Summer break, keeping kids occupied can definitely be tricky.

As we navigate this season of being home, I want to be mindful in helping keep us all healthy, both physically and mentally. My girls are missing weeks of schooling & are out of their normal routine, but that doesn't mean all heck should break loose. 

It would be easy to be lazy and fall into a funk that would then be hard to come out of once things get back to normal. Not just for them, but myself as well.

  Since I still have a business to run, a team to lead and home to take care of while we are self-quarantined,  I can't constantly be guiding every moment of their days, so today, I sat down and created a list of activities to keep them busy, entertained, inspired and moving. 

Each category lists some ideas to go with, but I will also encourage them to think outside the box and see what else they can come up with. 

Each day, they'll pick something to do from all 6 categories. They can choose how much time they spend on each thing (no minimum or limit), but they have to do something from all 6. I'll be doing it with them, although my activities may be a bit different, I think the balance of the 6 will help me keep my sanity as well. ;) 

There will be a "prize" at the end of the week if they complete all 6 every day. It may be a favorite treat, their pick of meal or movie, or something else that makes them feel rewarded for keeping their brains busy.

Feel free to use this for your own family! You'll find a PNG  file below, as well as, a PDF printable version just below that. Be sure to come back and leave a comment sharing what you're doing with your Boredom Buster list. I'd love to know what activities, projects or other fun things you and your family do with it!

Stay home and stay healthy! - Amanda

Printable PDF Version

When the right-brain gets it wrong.

It's the first day of a new year, a new decade and I find myself with an intense urge to write.
But there is a problem.
I have no idea what to write about.
In this moment, just the feeling over my fingers sliding across the keys at 100 miles a minute (backspaces for corrections included), is good enough.
Good enough for me anyway, but for you, the reader, it's probably seeming pretty lame.
The thing is, I constantly feel the need to create.
Whether it's through words or actions or crafting or cooking or.... it's always there.
Always this push to make something better than it was before or make something new or plan.
Like some weird creative addict looking for a fix, I didn't realize it was so much a part of who I was until the last few weeks.

We went into our holiday season with a big trip planned. A Disney Cruise and it was awesome (even with the crummy weather).
 I worked getting gifts bought and wrapped, loose ends tied up, my kids situated with school stuff and our house in order before we left. I wanted to come back to quiet and calm and rest as we entered the week of Christmas and subsequently, the New Year. No to do lists, nothing to finish up. Just time to enjoy the holidays.

But the second we were back, I became restless.
As we went through family gatherings and did all the normal Christmas activities and traditions, it lurked even still.
That restlessness turned into aimlessness.
The aimlessness into frustration and a general BLAH-ness.
Not depression, because that is a BIG word I have walked through before so I NEVER use is to describe moments of blah, but just a general "what's next?" feeling with no direction. Much like this post started with.

What I do know is that next week, the girls will go back to school and "normal" life will pick up once again. There will be needs needing met and projects come up that need done. There will be moments of inspiration that fuel crazy dreams causing me to non-stop think or work on them until they're done.
It's inevitable. It WILL happen. And I will love it. I'll eat it up,  it will consume me, I'll over commit and spend nights lying awake while I map whatever the newest thing is in my head. It's what I do. It's a part of who I am. Who God has (quite) uniquely designed me to be.

But why can't I do that now? In this blah, blank space between seasons?

Because I asked God for time of rest.
And He gave it to me.
And I've been fighting it.
Wait.
What?
BOOM!
Did you catch that?

All that ranting I did before about feeling restless and aimless and not having anything to do... I ASKED for! I asked God before we left for our trip for a time of peace and rest and calm and time to "gather" myself as we step into the next season.

And then as gracious as God was to grant it, I, in my always need to be busy self, totally wished it away and didn't even take time to SEE what I was being given.

Something we all do far too often in so many things if we are honest.
Asking God to move, Him granting our heart's desires and then we just stand there like "now what?"

So God and I had a chat today. I apologized and asked for Him to continue to teach me how to find stillness. That, even in his design of who I am to always be creating, I don't miss the opportunities to just be. To enjoy the moments of not necessarily being needed instead of counteracting those moments by finding something to do so I feel valuable, useful, worthy?

Because is that really what this boils down to? Do I need to create so I feel worthy? There is a whisper that says yes, but I pray it isn't true. Regardless, I don't want that ever to be what I become, so maybe it's okay to recognize it and get it handled. I want the crazy creative brain of mine and willing to work hands to always be doing and moving how God intends for them to do and move.
Even if that means sometimes that they are both totally still.

So I guess I did figure out something to write today. It's scrambled and silly and self reflective and totally a right brain way to write I guess, but instead of just deleting it, my guess is there is someone else like me, out there, who needs to hear the same words.

That rest is ok.
That being still is ok.
That letting your mind and hands take a break is ok.

Even if it feels blah or restless or uneasy for a minute.

Because for you, for I, to be able to continue to serve the way God has designed us to serve, we HAVE to be able to take those moments, sit in them fully, and prepare ourselves for what's next.

2020, you're what's next.
I'm ready.


And as a bonus- this...
because it's hilarious and 100% accurate

Time for the Mid-September Mid-Week Scoop!

Little different format, isn't this?

Did you notice? :)

One of the things I love is consistency. One of the things I hate is when programs aren't effective or don't work well.

I've used Mad Mimi to send all of our Mid- Week Scoops up to this point, but I continually get feedback that the email is going to Spam or, when I run my report, see that less than 1/3 of you lovelies are opening it. These things combined have made me start to hate Mad Mimi. 😂

So here we are, shifting "delivery" systems again 

until I get it right and it works like I want it to. 

Why? Because that's just a part of business. We try one thing, it doesn't work, so we try something else. It would be easy for me to say that no one is reading it, 

responding or using it, so why bother, right? 

 Because that's what we want to say when it comes to our business, isn't it?

But the truth is often it isn't what we are sharing that isn't working,

 but HOW we are sharing it.

Mad Mimi isn't working (and it costs me money so that's a double whammy), 

so I'm trying something else. You could do research on ANY giant business in the world today, any invention or any person you'd deem successful 

and see the same outline in place. 

Try, fail, try again, fail, keep trying... until it's successful. 

When you aren't getting the response you want, don't just quit. 

Try something else until it's right. Try multiple avenues

 (remembering specifically not to put all your eggs in the Facebook basket)

You have customers and potential customers who want to see what you have to offer. 

They want the products you sell and even the opportunity to do it themselves even. 

You just have to be sure you're delivering it they way they can get a hold of it whether that means social media, private messages, email, home parties, basket parties, and so on.

 If it's not working, change the delivery. 

So here we are. Trying something new. Something I hope will serve you well as I work to help you build successful businesses. 

Thanks for being patient along the way as I work to get it right. 

-Amanda

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Our new Darth Vader Scentsy Warmer launches into space TODAY!

Be sure to check the news tab in your workstation for the most up to date information

 on this incredible warmer! He is a must not miss for any true Star Wars fan!

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Whether you are a new leader, and experienced leader, we’re not a leader at all – 

be sure to tune in this Sunday ton our Kickin' Wicks Commons Facebook page 

to learn more about how to be a leader worth following.

Sometimes leadership doesn’t come naturally and sometimes you have no clue what to do next and that is OK, as long as you’re willing to learn.

I will be going live at 8pm CST to chat with you about what it takes to be a leader, your role and responsibilities & why being a leader can be a big boost to your paycheck!

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An entrepreneurial spirit has always been at the heart of everything Scentsy does —along with upholding your ability to build a business that fits your lifestyle. So, we’re proud to announce that on Sept. 18, we’ll be active participants in Direct Selling Day on Capitol Hill, hosted by the Direct Selling Association (DSA).

Scentsy executives and Consultants, along with more than 125 direct selling distributors and executives from 18 other direct selling companies across the U.S., will be in Washington, D.C., to encourage Congress to protect the business model that supports Scentsy Consultants and all direct sellers nationwide.

 Direct Selling Day is part of the DSA’s broader efforts to urge passage of House Resolution 3522 (the Preserving the Direct Seller Independence Act), which will protect direct sellers’ status as independent contractors under federal labor law.

Why is this important?

A big draw for many Consultants is the flexibility to work your business on your terms, whenever and wherever you choose. As independent contractors, you can trust that your freedom is protected as one of America’s “original entrepreneurs,” owning and running your own business.

We need your help!

 Please take a moment to email this letter to your Representative to urge them to support HR 3522. Not sure of your congressional district or who your member is? Find out at https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative and get their contact information.

 Please join us in helping to protect your independent contractor status and preserve the future outlook of the American entrepreneurial spirit.

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Finally, don't stop chasing those goals this month! If you're getting this email, you are a part of my team which means you are eligible for our Fall/Winter Recognition program! 

If we haven't chatted about your goal, it's time to send me a text or message. With 11 days left in the month, there is still so much to achieve!

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One last thing- if you haven't done so yet, be sure to sign up for our team text alerts!
You can follow the instructions below & be notified when important or breaking Scentsy news happens (along with some fun stuff too!)

Have a great week! 

Amanda Johnson * Your Scentsy Superstar Director * kickinwicks@yahoo.com * 479-353-1599

How to stay out of Facebook Jail while building your small business

Being in Direct Sales, social media can be a fantastic tool for growing my business. It can also be a great hindrance, specifically when it comes to Facebook and the every changing algorithm game. 

What is an algorithm you ask? Well, in simple terms, it is an equation Facebook uses to determine what information you are most likely to enjoy seeing or reading. It uses different factors, like who you tend to interact with or posts you tend to "like" to bump up similar posts in your feed when you log on.

It also works to keep things like spam and posts from businesses bumped down in importance in your feed. Did you catch that? Businesses.

The intent of this algorithm isn't all bad. Facebook wants to keep the purpose of it's platform centered around meaningful interactions and relationships and less junk. We all are happy for less junk, right? But it does mean that when you choose to build your small business using this platform, you'll need to play by their rules to be successful.

When you don't play by the rules, your customers, friends and family won't see the posts you're working hard to share and, in the worst cases, you can end up in Facebook jail for a period of time. 

So here we are, with some tips on how to not only stay out of Facebook jail, but create content that builds those meaningful interactions that keep your posts front and center in your customer's feed.

Let's dive in!

1. Create unique posts.

  Don’t be a copy and paste Patsy. If you like how a fellow consultant has written a post, use it like an outline for your own instead of copying and pasting it word for word.  If the post doesn’t sound like how you would talk or like other posts you make, your customers will see right through it and it will feel inauthentic. Your customers want your words. Not the words of someone else. You also don't want to accidentally minimize the original poster's content. If you have mutual friends who see the same post content, you don't just create a disconnect for your post, but also for theirs. 

  Being a C/P Patsy also raises a red flag for Facebook as being spam. If they see multiple people sharing the exact same thing, they’ll bump it down in importance in the feed which causes fewer people to see what you’re sharing. Keeping your posts unique and personal to you creates a deeper connection with your potential customer base. 

2. Share your own pictures (instead of using google or borrowing them from someone else)

   We know this isn’t always possible, so this isn't a hard, fast rule, but when you can create your own pictures, do it!  Snap a picture of how you're using the products in your home, car or out and about. If you go to an event where displays of product are set up, snap your own pics to use in your social media posting. You might even slap a "watermark" with your website on it to help it stay yours.

   If you would like to use pictures someone else is sharing, private message them and ask if it’s okay for you to borrow and use. DO NOT ask in the comments on the post the person made. It is distracting to customers and can mess up their flow. We want to respect each other's businesses, right? 

(Note: If you are a part of my Scentsy team, any images I share in the Kickin’ Wicks Commons group or on the Collective are for you use, so you don’t have to ask me to use them. 😉)

3. Show them YOU!

  When you do share your own pics, get yourself in them! Whether it’s your face, your kids, your pets, or whatever, people will slow their scroll if they see something personal to you. Think about your own scrolling habits. If you were flipping along and saw a picture of a dog, you may glance a second and keep on moving. But, if you saw a picture of your friend and her dog, you'll stop and see what it's about. Faces bring connection to a person/family, not just a sales post.

 Yes, post them even if you’re looking a hot mess. People relate to you for a reason. Show them how you’re using Scentsy. This also keeps your post unique and its way less likely to be tagged as any kind of spam by the FB algorithm because others won’t be using them as their own and it will keep your info posts where your customers get to see them. Now, this doesn't give you permission to be unprofessional, so don't go all crazy, but real life is okay.

4. Don’t get crazy playing tag.

   Facebook HATES mass tagging. It is the quickest way to red flag your post as spam. Not only that, but rarely do people pay attention to something they've been tagged in with 100 other people. It automatically feels like they're "just a number" instead of someone important.

 Instead, private message the people you want to be sure see your post. Not only does it protect you from FB jail, but it is also more personal and makes sure they won't miss it. If you do want to tag, just pick a few people. 

5. Speaking of private messages...

   Finally, don’t sit down and send 100 private messages in one sitting by copying and pasting the same message to everyone. This is another "Do not pass go, do not collect $200" thing to do. Any message or post or photo sent to multiple people at the same time can easily land you in a Facebook timeout.
Avoid Facebook jail and only send messages to a handful of friends and remember to space out your messages. Again, Facebook is after meaningful connection, so create it. 

We hope this helps you make the most of Facebook as a platform for your business. Remember not to put all of your eggs in Facebook’s basket. Use other forms of social media and connection or you’ll be putting your business in a box it will never grow out of. -Amanda